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Any sarnie-loving Expats out there?

King Cotton

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The Ultimate Savoury Cheese Sarnie

 A rapidly fading foody recollection of a digestive orgasm – and almost a real one as well – whilst eating a ‘Woolpack special’ packed lunch, during the final assault of Bowfell from Three Tarns; part of my training for my Woolpack Walk attempt, next day (as link below).

Roughly halfway up the final, steep ascent to Bowfell’s summit, a perfectly bum-shaped boulder as good as insisted that I use that spot for my lunch-break and to check-out the contents of the huge ‘Woolpack Special’ packed lunch box. Once opened, an entire confectioners shop spilled out of the package and onto my boulder. First, the sarnies – two rounds; one sirloin beef (the left-overs from last night’s splendid roast) and, the other, described as ‘savoury cheese’ by the landlady/cook, on asking my choice at breakfast time – followed by small pork pie, a slice of Eccles cake and a delicious-looking piece of what looked like wimberry pie. Huge as it was, my thoughts turned towards me probably needing every morsel of this feast, during the big walk, next day.

Once into the beef, I spotted a pair of shapely females, headed up this same final stretch to the summit. “Mmm . . . another 5 minutes and the scenery should become even more beautiful . . . I simply love mountaineering!”

My first mouthful of cheese savoury sarnie coincided with both the girls giving me the warmest of smiles and ‘Hi’’s. Struggling to avoid coughing the cheese (and whatever other wonderful bits had been added to the mix) all over my new friends, I returned a foody smile and wave and pointed to the cause of my momentary dumbness, my mouthful of the most delicious sandwich ever to have climbed Bowfell.

The friendly girls waited for the frenzy to quieten down before passing witty quips about needing to take more care when eating alone on Lakeland’s fells. They did truly make for the most memorable few minutes of packed-lunching that I can remember. On stating that the sandwich that had almost choked me was the most delicious ‘sort of cheesy’ thing I’d ever tasted, they – in perfect unison, almost as if rehearsed – chirped, “Oh, can I try a corner.” Quickly calculating that two of the four corners of my sandwich were about to leave me with only half a sandwich, as the gorgeous girls leant sufficiently far forward for me to enjoy not one but two deep cleavages, whilst also admiring the greater one of Great Langdale, I forced a smile – my eyes darting this way and then the other – and stuttered:

“Yes, course you can . . . here you are . . . where a’ ya headed? . . . I’ve come up from Eskdale, for the first time . . . absolutely stunning!” Oh, did I tell you? . . . I simply love mountaineering!

Over breakfast, next morning, no surprise that savoury cheese got the nod, again and I was cheeky enough to ask Margo for her recipe, which on taste grounds alone, had to be a pretty closely guarded secret. This is how I recall it:

 Grated Cheddar cheese

Grated spring onion



Tomato ketchup

Lea & Perrins, just a dash

Salt & pepper to taste











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