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12 hours ago, JohninDublin said:

I recognise quite a few of the "self-appointed" experts in your post, and generally they are nearly always sex-tourists. I am not knocking them for that as I am one myself, but one thing that is never lacking from their imparted "wisdom", is cynicism.

I can remember when that wisdom was raving about "Private Dancer", as the "bible" for living safely in TH. I read it. It wasn't a bad effort at writing, but what all those who were advocating for the lessons to be learned from this story never considered, was that the story and it's predictable ending, could have happened in any country. The real lesson was not "Don't fall in love with a cynical TH hooker", it was "Don't fall in love with a cynical hooker". But the "experts" entire interactions were always with working girls and tainted by their own cynicism. "Treat the rough and make them tough".

The real problem in listening to these people, is that they don't see that their own cynicism removes any objectivity that must be inherent so that their advice can be considered "good advice".

I think part of people's problems are that they read stuff like Private Dancer or listen to what others have to say on chat forums.

 

None of it is all that hard to navigate if you have half a brain.

 

I remember always reading about how you should act when visiting your GF's village for the 1st time.

You know what I did? Acted normal, that's all you ever have to do, act normal and polite

Doesn't matter what country or culture 

 

No one has it figured out, none of us.....

 

I know guys married to ex-BG's going on 15yrs now(myself included)

I know guys married to wonderful non-BG's

I know guys who got screwed over by BG's and non-BG's 

 

But honestly, none of it is that hard(outside just regular life being hard)

 

 

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9 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

I think part of people's problems are that they read stuff like Private Dancer or listen to what others have to say on chat forums.

None of it is all that hard to navigate if you have half a brain.

I remember always reading about how you should act when visiting your GF's village for the 1st time.

You know what I did? Acted normal, that's all you ever have to do, act normal and polite

Doesn't matter what country or culture 

No one has it figured out, none of us.....

I know guys married to ex-BG's going on 15yrs now(myself included)

I know guys married to wonderful non-BG's

I know guys who got screwed over by BG's and non-BG's 

But honestly, none of it is that hard(outside just regular life being hard)

Indeed, Marc - appears that too many are deeply confirmed by way of the invented stereotypical textbook and they stick regardless of what other realities that are thrown their way. Truly applies to everything Asia/Asian.

On 1/18/2022 at 8:17 PM, oldschooler said:

“Expatriate” term & definition is not country or culture specific.

Means anyone, temporarily or permanently, working or retired,  living outside their home country who does not assimilate locally ( language / citizen/ dress/ work). But somehow different to Immigrant or Migrant ( still working ?) ……or Exile?

Interesting because it includes the lack of assimilation. I don't like being called as falang but I don't like the term Expat.  So if you learn the language and culture and try to fit in the term doesn't fit. 

Thanks. Now I understand. 

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1 hour ago, LoongFred said:

Interesting because it includes the lack of assimilation. I don't like being called as falang but I don't like the term Expat.  So if you learn the language and culture and try to fit in the term doesn't fit. 

Thanks. Now I understand. 

Assimilation of any kind, without PR / TC, might make you a “Settler ” perhaps.
Permanent Residency confers official  “Immigrant” status here.

Thai Citizenship confers “Thai” status (officially if not ethnically or culturally).

“Migrants“ would be those Temporary ASEAN Workers here……

Longstay Visa holders are Expats / Temporary Residents but those are not official terms here. still classified as “Visitor” , no different to Tourists, who can now get a nine month visa here + Covid Extensions.

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22 hours ago, Rain said:

Indeed, Marc - appears that too many are deeply confirmed by way of the invented stereotypical textbook and they stick regardless of what other realities that are thrown their way. Truly applies to everything Asia/Asian.

 But visiting gf parents / family would require detailed etiquette practice like waiing , physical contact protocols, stand or sit,learning some basic Thai, gifts. Wearing long pants & shirt, taking off shoes , etc

"Longstay Visa holders", the only ones I know who have those are the ones who bought the 10 or 20 year visas from the Elite Visa group for 500k or 1 million baht.

99% of so called 'expats' or whatever they like to call themselves are just annual visitors as they need to extend their visa every year. 

There is no scheme in Thailand like Malaysia for instance where it is easy to get a renewable ten year visa and then a permanent visa if married to a Malaysian .

We can with both visa types buy property in our own name. 

14 minutes ago, oldschooler said:

 But visiting gf parents / family would require detailed etiquette practice like waiing , physical contact protocols, stand or sit,learning some basic Thai, gifts. Wearing long pants & shirt, taking off shoes , etc

17 minutes ago, oldschooler said:

 But visiting gf parents / family would require detailed etiquette practice like waiing , physical contact protocols, stand or sit,learning some basic Thai, gifts. Wearing long pants & shirt, taking off shoes , etc

No it doesn't 

You are a visitor in a country, it's not expected, nor should it be

 

It's not expected in any country as a visitor 

 

Be polite and well dressed(which should be  a norm for people anyways)

 

Now, I think people should ask questions and be inquisitive about those things 

 

But none of it is or should be expected by a visitor 

 

Plus I would assume you have been with the girl a fair bit before visiting, so you will have learned some of her norms already 

 

Let's go by your list:

 

Waiing,.....no visitor is expected to wai, but I think most would probably follow suit when they see that is the greeting.

And probably do it wrong, and that would be ok! They are trying 

 

Physical contact.....where I come from, you hug everyone hello and goodbye. But I'd never do that in a foreign country because I don't know their greeting norms. That's common sense 

 

Learning some basic Thai.....I don't think anyone would be bothered if you don't know but would be very happy if you tried a little bit. Again, just as in any country 

 

Gifts......I don't think I've ever visited a house and haven't brought a gift

 

Wearing long pants, shirt. I don't know about the long pants. I go to 2 different villages and haven't seen many wearing long pants. 

But you should dress nice to meet people for the 1st time regardless of what country....

 

Taking off shoes.....I'd imagine someone would have to be real daft to see everyone take off their shoes and just walk into a house with your shoes on

 

 

Most of that above is common sense and polite manners, which are universal 

28 minutes ago, oldschooler said:

Assimilation of any kind, without PR / TC, might make you a “Settler ” perhaps.
Permanent Residency confers official  “Immigrant” status here.

Thai Citizenship confers “Thai” status (officially if not ethnically or culturally).

“Migrants“ would be those Temporary ASEAN Workers here……

Longstay Visa holders are Expats / Temporary Residents but those are not official terms here. still classified as “Visitor” , no different to Tourists, who can now get a nine month visa here + Covid Extensions.

I doubt expats will be around much longer with the widespread tolerance of the racist genocide of "double pricing". 

It's no different from the Hutu/Tutsi massacre or Apartheid South Africa. 

Expats are outraged and suffering, just as the American blacks were humiliated by being forced to sit in the backs of buses,, so too are expats being humiliated by THB80 "tourist rates" at waterfalls. 

There is no difference. None.

18 minutes ago, JamesR said:

"Longstay Visa holders", the only ones I know who have those are the ones who bought the 10 or 20 year visas from the Elite Visa group for 500k or 1 million baht.

99% of so called 'expats' or whatever they like to call themselves are just annual visitors as they need to extend their visa every year. 

There is no scheme in Thailand like Malaysia for instance where it is easy to get a renewable ten year visa and then a permanent visa if married to a Malaysian .

We can with both visa types buy property in our own name. 

They aren't "so called expats"

They are expats by definition 

 

Expats isn't determined by your visa status or work status

 

And actually, if anything, an expat is temporary and not permanent 

 

 

7 minutes ago, Marc26 said:
21 minutes ago, oldschooler said:

 But visiting gf parents / family would require detailed etiquette practice like waiing , physical contact protocols, stand or sit,learning some basic Thai, gifts. Wearing long pants & shirt, taking off shoes , etc

We all already know how to stand and sit, most of use know some Thai but not enough to have a long conversation so if the family do not know the world language which is English then there will not be much conversation going on.

Waiing is pretty easy, we used to do it as kids in church.

There is no problem in Thai houses with wearing shorts, million of Thais wear them.

Wearing a shirt, most us always wear shirts unless we are swimming or sleeping.

Most os us take off shoes already in our home countries when going into a house.

So not a lot to learn really.

An Australian I know spent a year learning Thai three times a week at a language school in Phuket, he went to Isaan to visit his wife's parent, his Thai was useless as they spoke Laos, I told him he should have mentioned it a year earlier.😄

I can speak some basic Thai but I can't understand what the Issan bar girls are saying to each other as they pass me in the street in Phuket.

 

 

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7 minutes ago, Vince said:

I doubt expats will be around much longer with the widespread tolerance of the racist genocide of "double pricing". 

It's no different from the Hutu/Tutsi massacre or Apartheid South Africa. 

Expats are outraged and suffering, just as the American blacks were humiliated by being forced to sit in the backs of buses,, so too are expats being humiliated by THB80 "tourist rates" at waterfalls. 

There is no difference. None.

I hope you are joking?

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2 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

They aren't "so called expats"

They are expats by definition 

Expats isn't determined by your visa status or work status

And actually, if anything, an expat is temporary and not permanent 

They are still temporary annual visitors, call them what you like. 

Just now, JamesR said:

I hope you are joking?

The Myanmar junta has decided to adopt double pricing of all of its opponents in a fresh campaign to destroy it's opposition.

I can't see anyone surviving this new genocidal wave of over-pricing. 

16 minutes ago, JamesR said:

We all already know how to stand and sit, most of use know some Thai but not enough to have a long conversation so if the family do not know the world language which is English then there will not be much conversation going on.

Waiing is pretty easy, we used to do it as kids in church.

There is no problem in Thai houses with wearing shorts, million of Thais wear them.

Wearing a shirt, most us always wear shirts unless we are swimming or sleeping.

Most os us take off shoes already in our home countries when going into a house.

So not a lot to learn really.

An Australian I know spent a year learning Thai three times a week at a language school in Phuket, he went to Isaan to visit his wife's parent, his Thai was useless as they spoke Laos, I told him he should have mentioned it a year earlier.😄

I can speak some basic Thai but I can't understand what the Issan bar girls are saying to each other as they pass me in the street in Phuket.

I applaud anyone who learns a knew language or even attempts to do so

 

I am embarrassed that I don't speak Thai fluently after being with my wife for 18 years 

 

But in all those years, I think she has found 3 farang that speak Thai properly 

 

It is such a difficult language, IMO

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19 minutes ago, JamesR said:

They are still temporary annual visitors, call them what you like. 

I get what you are pointing out

 

But by definition, you are actually wrong

They are expats

 

And again, "expat" is actually temporary, by definition 

 

Or otherwise you are an immigrant 

8 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

I applaud anyone who learns a knew language or even attempts to do so

I am embarrassed that I don't speak Thai fluently after being with my wife for 18 years 

But in all those years, I think she has found 3 farang that speak Thai properly 

It is such a difficult language, IMO

Indeed. "fluent" is a pretty high standard. 

How much time/effort do you put into it if I may ask?

With the internet it's now possible to be saturated in any language news/entertainment you like.

Do you watch Thai news, lakorn, comedy? 

 

38 minutes ago, Vince said:

I doubt expats will be around much longer with the widespread tolerance of the racist genocide of "double pricing". 

It's no different from the Hutu/Tutsi massacre or Apartheid South Africa. 

Expats are outraged and suffering, just as the American blacks were humiliated by being forced to sit in the backs of buses,, so too are expats being humiliated by THB80 "tourist rates" at waterfalls. 

There is no difference. None.

Don't tell the Russians of this secret plan as they might declare war on the USA and instead of sending in troops they will buy up all the Macdonalds restaurants in the USA, put the prices up, the Americans will all die due to starvation and the Russians will win. 🤣

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5 minutes ago, Vince said:

Indeed. "fluent" is a pretty high standard. 

How much time/effort do you put into it if I may ask?

With the internet it's now possible to be saturated in any language news/entertainment you like.

Do you watch Thai news, lakorn, comedy? 

I have Netflix in the UK and sometimes watch Thai films or series, they speak Thai with English subtitles, I sometimes catch a whole sentence but in general only a few words in a sentence, they speak naturally so it is good practice. 

8 minutes ago, Vince said:

Indeed. "fluent" is a pretty high standard. 

How much time/effort do you put into it if I may ask?

With the internet it's now possible to be saturated in any language news/entertainment you like.

Do you watch Thai news, lakorn, comedy? 

I don't know, 20% speaking, 35% understanding

 

My wife moved to Canada 

So we concentrated so much on her learning English 

 

I've tried a few times online and really do want to make a go of it again 

7 minutes ago, JamesR said:

Don't tell the Russians of this secret plan as they might declare war on the USA and instead of sending in troops they will buy up all the Macdonalds restaurants in the USA, put the prices up, the Americans will all die due to starvation and the Russians will win. 🤣

The plan will be perfected by having a public posting of dual prices - Russians get half price! 

The racist humiliation of paying double for Chicken McNuggets while Russian tourists pay half will destroy America!!! 

 

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18 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

I get what you are pointing out

But by definition, you are actually wrong

They are expats

And again, "expat" is actually temporary, by definition 

Or otherwise you are an immigrant 

We are both wrong, definition:"An expatriate is a person residing in a country other than their native country".

But my main point is that so called expats have no more rights or knowledge than any of us who only spend six months a years here in single visit, but many claim to 'know' this or that which we are not privy to. 

I have had the following reply to many conversations when talking with a long term visitor, "But I live here", they say.

I don't argue, I just laugh and say, "That is not my fault'.

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4 minutes ago, Vince said:

The plan will be perfected by having a public posting of dual prices - Russians get half price! 

The racist humiliation of paying double for Chicken McNuggets while Russian tourists pay half will destroy America!!! 

The dual pricing at national sites in Thailand, museums etc almost cripples me on some of my visits, if I go to the aquarium in Phuket I pay more, I can't remember the price, 100 baht for me I think and 50 baht for Thais.

I then have to stay in for the next two weeks in order to recoup that 50 baht. 

I have been to the aquarium about three times in the last fifteen years, I will soon be bankrupt. 😄

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