News Forum - American man faces dilemma as Thai girlfriend’s parents demand 1 million baht dowry

[Thaiger]

An American man asked netizens for advice on what to do after his Thai girlfriend’s family demanded a million baht dowry, known as sinsod in Thailand. He said he loved her very much but was not a foolish farang. The American shared his story on the social media platform Reddit yesterday, September 12. The man … …

The story American man faces dilemma as Thai girlfriend’s parents demand 1 million baht dowry as seen on Thaiger News.

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[ChrisS]

A million THB sounds like the first step in a systematic fleecing operation to me. I would be intrigued as to the ages of both the American and his girlfriend.

[Marc26]

52 minutes ago, ChrisS said:

A million THB sounds like the first step in a systematic fleecing operation to me. I would be intrigued as to the ages of both the American and his girlfriend.

Not necessarily.............

 

It is still part of the culture for a lot of people and families that don't need the money still want the show of the husband being able to take care of their daughter

 

I've known quite a few instances where sin soht was asked/insisted and the family was well off

In Thai-Thai marriages as well

 

 

[oldschooler]

2 hours ago, Marc26 said:

Not necessarily.............

It is still part of the culture for a lot of people and families that don't need the money still want the show of the husband being able to take care of their daughter

I've known quite a few instances where sin soht was asked/insisted and the family was well off

In Thai-Thai marriages as well

Yeah, in modern times it’s a dishonest and rotten theft scam practice. Huge red flag that the girl is clearly & firmly under parents control. Can never be accepted by any rational guy. WALK.

This practice may have had some true meaning before westerners came here 400 years ago.
Now it’s nonsense.Parents and daughters split the money.

Daughter’s an adult and if living away from parents they have no logical say about her decisions.

non- Thais should not get involved in inter - Thai customs. should adopt strict separation and not accept that shyte being imposed on them. 

[Pinga]

Reminds me of a woman I know - her husband gave her 10 million baht(!!) when they married - of which she used some to start a business and the majority wasted on unnecessary stuff like a huge SUV. Now after she managed to spend the entire sum she still asks him for money monthly - despite actually making a decent profit from the business. These women are bottomless pits who will swallaow every last drop of your money if you let them. Run, and find a girl who isn't a financial vampire.

[Marc26]

3 hours ago, oldschooler said:

Yeah, in modern times it’s a dishonest and rotten theft scam practice. Huge red flag that the girl is clearly & firmly under parents control. Can never be accepted by any rational guy. WALK.

This practice may have had some true meaning before westerners came here 400 years ago.
Now it’s nonsense.Parents and daughters split the money.

Daughter’s an adult and if living away from parents they have no logical say about her decisions.

non- Thais should not get involved in inter - Thai customs. should adopt strict separation and not accept that shyte being imposed on them. 

Again, leaving out the fact it is a custom that is done amongst Thai's at a rate that would probably be 99-1 vs farang 

 

I wouldn't personally give sin soht(and wouldn't even do it for show like some do)

 

So farangs have to decide if they are comfortable with it

 

But as with most farang in Thailand 

They think this is somehow pointed at farangs when that isn't even close to the cade

[Totoro]

I would get the hell out.One million is just the start. He will be ATM for everyone in the family.

If she loves him as much as he loves her then this would not be an issue.

It will be a money pit.

For Thais to have a foreigner in the family is like a lottery win. 

And love??? Love they have only for money.

And no, I am not a burnt child.

[Guest1]

16 hours ago, Thaiger said:

He said he loved her very much but was not a foolish farang

Isnt he proving otherwise, with this public question?

[Ramanathan.P]

Let this be a wake-up call for all those farangs who think dating young Thai girls will be a wonderful life. Just forget her. All a man need is a nice, humble and simple woman who can take care him at old age. Better avoid such families which are materialistic. Just look for those poor single mothers who are desperate for a good life to bring food to their table to suppor their children. Just stop giving millions and obliging to the unrealistic request. Afterall once the ligths are off in the bed room, everything is the same end of the day. Nothing special. 

[TedG]

The answer is hell no.  

[BainaiThai]

Ramanathan.P  Found one of these with children out of the house.  Her sister/brother in law  (with whom she lived) wanted a dowery (parents dead) in spite of the fact that she was divorced and had a grown daughter no longer living at home.  I refused, but gave my lady friend a monthly allowance and told her she could spend it however she wanted.  

She shared with them for a while and then she decided when it was enough.  Relationship 10 years, married 3 years.  

[Pinga]

2 hours ago, BainaiThai said:

I refused, but gave my lady friend a monthly allowance and told her she could spend it however she wanted.  

She shared with them for a while and then she decided when it was enough.  Relationship 10 years, married 3 years.  

Somehow I doubt a Thai bf/husband would be ok with her sharing his money with her sister. For many there is this expectation that when a woman "bags" a farang she's immediately liable to "help" everyone in the family. **** the family - unless they're her immediate children or someone that takes care of her children or otherwise provides value (labor), there's really no reason to give them a single baht.

[Marc26]

15 minutes ago, Pinga said:

Somehow I doubt a Thai bf/husband would be ok with her sharing his money with her sister. For many there is this expectation that when a woman "bags" a farang she's immediately liable to "help" everyone in the family. **** the family - unless they're her immediate children or someone that takes care of her children or otherwise provides value (labor), there's really no reason to give them a single baht.

I seriously don't think so many guys on here spend much time around Thais and Thai families 

 

Thai or farang, the person with money pays and helps out if needed 

[HiuMak]

On 9/13/2023 at 6:02 PM, Thaiger said:

An American man asked netizens for advice on what to do after his Thai girlfriend’s family demanded a million baht dowry, known as sinsod in Thailand. He said he loved her very much but was not a foolish farang. The American shared his story on the social media platform Reddit yesterday, September 12. The man … …

The story American man faces dilemma as Thai girlfriend’s parents demand 1 million baht dowry as seen on Thaiger News.

Read the full story

Traditions are hard to break. 

This practise is also about "face" likely?

[Marc26]

1 hour ago, Marc26 said:

I seriously don't think so many guys on here spend much time around Thais and Thai families 

Thai or farang, the person with money pays and helps out if needed 

 By the way

I should also say it gets abused a lot in Thailand

Again to both Thais and farangs

[TheDirtyDurian]

Nothing like a sinsod story to get the foreigners worked up....

[Guest1]

18 hours ago, Ramanathan.P said:

Let this be a wake-up call for all those farangs who think dating young Thai girls will be a wonderful life. Just forget her. All a man need is a nice, humble and simple woman who can take care him at old age. Better avoid such families which are materialistic. Just look for those poor single mothers who are desperate for a good life to bring food to their table to suppor their children. Just stop giving millions and obliging to the unrealistic request. Afterall once the ligths are off in the bed room, everything is the same end of the day. Nothing special. 

A friend of mine said once, the best catch for a Thaigirl/-woman  is an orphan with no brothers, sisters or uncel/aunties, or other family

But he also said, this is almost impossible to find

He also said, for a Thai service girl you pay for services and know how much.

Forr a Thai wife you pay all your life

And just dont know, how much it will be

So it is in the eye of the farang, how valuable the realtionship is for him, methinks.

[Guest1]

4 hours ago, HiuMak said:

Traditions are hard to break. 

This practise is also about "face" likely?

If it is only about face, the parents could do the showing with money, they give to the broom.

Did happen befor, but mostly won't happen this way.

The "best" to expect, is that the words "we give it back to you" is sntrue statement.

Even that is .sometimes just a phrase, "corrected" later by splitting it half or such.

 

[Marc26]

7 hours ago, TheDirtyDurian said:

Nothing like a sinsod story to get the foreigners worked up....

Haha

Exactly.................

 

Like a bunch of nanny's at tea time   :)

[Marc26]

6 hours ago, Guest1 said:

A friend of mine said once, the best catch for a Thaigirl/-woman  is an orphan with no brothers, sisters or uncel/aunties, or other family

But he also said, this is almost impossible to find

He also said, for a Thai service girl you pay for services and know how much.

Forr a Thai wife you pay all your life

And just dont know, how much it will be

So it is in the eye of the farang, how valuable the realtionship is for him, methinks.

The old expats spitting  folk lore................so it must be true!

 

Sure there are girls that take advantage and I chalk that up to 100% the mutt farangs fault.

Insecure guys who feel they need to throw stupid money at girls to make themselves feel like a big shot for once in their life

 

Anyone I know with a functioning brain that has been involved with a Thai girl hasn't had these issues

 

 

As you said, it is in the eye of the farang what kind of relationship they want

I find your friend's outlook miserable but if it suits him and that is all that matters, really...............

[HolyCowCm]

11 hours ago, Marc26 said:

I seriously don't think so many guys on here spend much time around Thais and Thai families 

Thai or farang, the person with money pays and helps out if needed 

I actually do. All my interaction are with Thai here. I am just out of Bangkok and meetings and it was 100% with Thai. Dinners too. Except for the young group of Copenhagen visitors staying my hotel which was fun for me talking with them. I really only am around Thai people day in and day out.

[HolyCowCm]

57 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

The old expats spitting  folk lore................so it must be true!

Sure there are girls that take advantage and I chalk that up to 100% the mutt farangs fault.

Insecure guys who feel they need to throw stupid money at girls to make themselves feel like a big shot for once in their life

Anyone I know with a functioning brain that has been involved with a Thai girl hasn't had these issues

As you said, it is in the eye of the farang what kind of relationship they want

I find your friend's outlook miserable but if it suits him and that is all that matters, really...............

My first sinsod waswith my firstThai wife over 30 years ago. The mom wanted 200,000 baht and I said nope! Negiated and it was left at 50,000 baht. I hated it but had not choice. My love of my life wife now for way over 20 years was zero. We married at the Amphur. But I have alwyas taken care of the family when needed. There is a difference, and I have well put out so much more money that of a 50k sinsod. Millions of baht at this point. Noramlly te amount is only put out to show people and then it is returned back to the person in most cases. 

[Marc26]

45 minutes ago, HolyCowCm said:

I actually do. All my interaction are with Thai here. I am just out of Bangkok and meetings and it was 100% with Thai. Dinners too. Except for the young group of Copenhagen visitors staying my hotel which was fun for me talking with them. I really only am around Thai people day in and day out.

My point was it seems guys only know or look at it as farang centric

 

 

As you would know, more than me, what I said is true

 

Thais that make more money than their family are just as much looked at for financial support than any farang

 

It's not a farang thing........................

[Marc26]

41 minutes ago, HolyCowCm said:

My first sinsod waswith my firstThai wife over 30 years ago. The mom wanted 200,000 baht and I said nope! Negiated and it was left at 50,000 baht. I hated it but had not choice. My love of my life wife now for way over 20 years was zero. We married at the Amphur. But I have alwyas taken care of the family when needed. There is a difference, and I have well put out so much more money that of a 50k sinsod. Millions of baht at this point. Noramlly te amount is only put out to show people and then it is returned back to the person in most cases. 

I wasn't actually talking about sin soht in that post

Just guys getting taken advantage of..............it is almost always their fault

 

 

You spending millions of baht on your family is just normal

 

 

I am fortunate in that my wife's sister has a good job(she works a lot of hours though) and her 3 brothers work hard and make decent money to support themselves

So we get very minimal money requests

 

She has one brother who only works sparingly for health reasons(when I think he is capable to work full time) so he sort of shares in her Mom's monthly support..............but my wife pays that

And he is basically my wife's assistant, he does anything she needs or the Mom needs..........so he sort of "works' for his food/housing

[HolyCowCm]

4 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

My point was it seems guys only know or look at it as farang centric

As you would know, more than me, what I said is true

Thais that make more money than their family are just as much looked at for financial support than any farang

It's not a farang thing........................

Yes, it is superficial as only a show thing or is that money getting taken. Yeah, I ahve been on this end before, and the 50k at that time long time ago did not settle ok for me but I had to do it.

Yeah, you said it how it is. I just answered you in a different style, but I do concur same as you. Swim in wters with jelly fish and you are not used to getting stung. But not the case everytime. If they are not poor lower class then you will not or don't pay. Is just a show and then returned. 

You already know everything Marc.