News Forum - 97 year old Thai grandmother abandoned on road by daughter, found soaking in rain

[Thaiger]

A 97 year old grandmother was abandoned in the middle of a road in the rain by her own daughter in Thailand‘s southern Ranong province. The elderly woman managed to crawl into the grassy area beside the road, where she was eventually found today by her distressed grandchildren. The road was in the middle of … …

The story 97 year old Thai grandmother abandoned on road by daughter, found soaking in rain as seen on Thaiger News.

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[Pinga]

This is what happens when a society expects children to take care of their parents. It's unnatural and puts a burden on the children - especially daughters - which sometimes results in extreme situations like this. Obviously the daughter in this case has had enough. You can't expect your children to take care of you until you're 97 years old - it's too much of a burden.

[Highlandman]

6 hours ago, Pinga said:

This is what happens when a society expects children to take care of their parents. It's unnatural and puts a burden on the children - especially daughters - which sometimes results in extreme situations like this. Obviously the daughter in this case has had enough. You can't expect your children to take care of you until you're 97 years old - it's too much of a burden.

What a heartless and ridiculous comment. Of course you're supposed to take care of your parents, every culture has traditionally done so.

Throwing out your parents on the streets to fend for themselves is not something a normal person does. I hope you never have children, because I fear they would have been abandoned by you because you can't handle parenthood.

Thai culture doesn't "expect" this so much as most people do it because they love their parents and nursing homes are expensive. 

[Marc26]

18 minutes ago, Highlandman said:

What a heartless and ridiculous comment. Of course you're supposed to take care of your parents, every culture has traditionally done so.

Throwing out your parents on the streets to fend for themselves is not something a normal person does. I hope you never have children, because I fear they would have been abandoned by you because you can't handle parenthood.

Thai culture doesn't "expect" this so much as most people do it because they love their parents and nursing homes are expensive. 

There is a bit od truth in both your statements

 

Now it's crazy for @Pinga to say kids shouldn't be expected to take care of thier parents until your 97yrs old

There is no age limit 

 

 

But I 100% agree there is way too much burden put on Thai children to take care of their parents 

 

I love my MIL

I hit the lottery

No drinking, gambling

She cleans and gardens and that's about it

 

But they have been acting like she us an "old lady " since her mid 40's

And she has played it up like she's so tired in her mid 40's

 

My mom had severe heart condition since her late 40's and she worked until her very late 60's

 

 

My wife and I do pretty well

And she is already banging on her son that he needs to "take care of her" when he graduates University 

 

 

And that is pervasive throughout Thai society 

[Faraday]

"Once an adult, twice a child"

Why shouldn't we - & I did, take care of our parents?

They made us, fed us, cleaned our bums, took care of us.

Yes, it was hard & difficult taking care of my parents as they faded away.

But I did it, with love & a 'thank you' in my mind for all the years they did same for me.

[PATRIQUE]

Elderly peoples performance is not adequate for a money / capitalistic ridden society

Have a look around western countries cities - they are mostly put on the last track on their own

 

[Marc26]

1 hour ago, Faraday said:

"Once an adult, twice a child"

Why shouldn't we - & I did, take care of our parents?

They made us, fed us, cleaned our bums, took care of us.

Yes, it was hard & difficult taking care of my parents as they faded away.

But I did it, with love & a 'thank you' in my mind for all the years they did same for me.

You and I think the same on this subject 

 

I lived in NYC but from Boston 

The last 2 years of my Mom's life I drove back and forth almost every weekend to be with her

 

It wasn't even a question 

 

A lady in work once commented how great it was.

I almost didn't understand what she meant.

 

No one should get applauded for taking care of their parents if they were good parents

 

 

[Faraday]

51 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

You and I think the same on this subject 

I lived in NYC but from Boston 

The last 2 years of my Mom's life I drove back and forth almost every weekend to be with her

It wasn't even a question 

A lady in work once commented how great it was.

I almost didn't understand what she meant.

No one should get applauded for taking care of their parents if they were good parents

Yes, quite agree, Marc.

I just looked after them, without a thought. Although, when my father got some rash down there & I had to put cream on his balls, he & I had a great laugh about it.

I kept getting praise also, but like you, I couldn't grasp why, at first. 

Mind you, the end, was phenomenonally difficult.

 

[Guest1]

2 hours ago, PATRIQUE said:

Elderly peoples performance is not adequate for a money / capitalistic ridden society

Have a look around western countries cities - they are mostly put on the last track on their own

 Mmmhhhh, controversial topic, methinks

Children are only "adequate", because the parents are legally forced to take  care. They made them, they wanted to have them (most at least)

And taking most of the costs of it, right?

The society mainly only (likes to) pays and pushes education in the direction ,they need them to function, later. (Thats not absolut it, but in general, the society needs the children later, as adults. Someone has to work cheap. And has to take care the elder. Makes money for kids aceptable)

And since people get older and older, this kid and elder times are overcoming more and more the productive years. And they become more costly for health reasons,so the society tries often to get rit of most of the costs, later. For in their  productive years "underperforming" people, at least. The others can afford, to take care, if they have to.

Just: Why do kids, who had no saying in  "being made"or choosing to live, have other than society made moral reasons, to take care the parents?

That would be a contract, signed only by one side, wouldn't it? These holds only up in court, b/c the society decides it. Just for money reasons. And because no one wanna decide, who can (afford to) have kids and who can't, don't has permittion, to have some.

Side note : The inuit had also an accepted system, once, that worked for hundreds of years, perhaps thousands.

And in countries, where they start pushing the childs wellfare more and more as a burden to the taxpayers, like some countries in europe doing heavily, you see more and more the problems, that social system payments are rising even quicker, as the normal inflation. But the left gouvernments in  these countries created that way their voters in the past and creating now the  base for their future voters.

And also the ugly situations you described.

For most of the lower class elders at least.

And the social sectors are growing and growing. Will be "interesting" to see in 50 years, or such. And Thailand is still not there, yet. But politicians, who walk that direction, will get votes. So just wait a decade or two or three.

Aside, also in Thailand,like in most countries, the majority of families with lots of kids, the meaning is more as 1, 2 or perhaps 3, is not middle or upper class.

Only in Thailand the  burden with the parents is falling back on to the daughters.

Who often need (or do so) to support the or some of the brothers.

Oh, btw.: I care and take care my mum.

But perhps just b/c I can do so, since my parents got me the foundation to do that? And my part is just the "on top" care. She organized her life for these part pretty well, too.

 

 

[HiuMak]

21 hours ago, Guest1 said:

Only in Thailand the  burden with the parents is falling back on to the daughters.

The burden of caregiving goes to the daughter and daughter in-law, but the inheritance does not. Most will go to the Sons. True?

[Guest1]

4 hours ago, HiuMak said:

The burden of caregiving goes to the daughter and daughter in-law, but the inheritance does not. Most will go to the Sons. True?

As far as I know, not.

The sons are getting  the dowry. To find a glrl, which will later get the family fortune from her parents. If a tradidtional family.

May explain a bit, why divorced man are sometimes a bit overreacting,in LOS?

[Pinga]

On 6/3/2023 at 5:43 AM, Highlandman said:

every culture has traditionally done so.

Untrue. Plenty of cultures like Vikings and Japanese used to leave their old in forests/mountains to die. Not that I'm advocating that, nor am I advocating what happened here. I'm just saying it's unnatural to expect children to care for their parents for tens of years - maybe in the past when people lived until 70-80 this was feasible, but 100? Someone who's 70-80 themselves and can't work can't take care of someone who's 100.

In developed countries this was at least partially solved by social security and pension plans, so parents do not become a burden on their kids, but in Thailand social security is next to nothing and most people do not save for anything, including pension.

[Pinga]

On 6/3/2023 at 6:06 AM, Marc26 said:

Now it's crazy for @Pinga to say kids shouldn't be expected to take care of thier parents until your 97yrs old

There is no age limit 

Children are not a pension plan. Of course there is a limit - someone who is too old to work themselves can't keep taking care of their parents.

On 6/3/2023 at 6:06 AM, Marc26 said:

And that is pervasive throughout Thai society 

And that's my entire point. There is zero planning for the future. Completely irresponsible and selfish IMO.