News Forum - Elderly in Thailand expect their children to look after them

[Thaiger]

A recent survey carried out by the National Institute of Development Administration (NIDA) revealed that the majority of elderly people in Thailand expect to receive care from their families, specifically their daughters. This survey aimed to identify who the Thai elderly believe should be responsible for their care, questioning a sample of 1,310 individuals aged …

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[Ramanathan.P]

How to look after the elderly as their children are also struggling to make ends meet....

[Grumpish]

A system that has worked perfectly well for the last few millennia, when most people were doing well if they saw their 40th birthday. Pensions (private and state) and savings accumulated once the children are independent work much better once life expectancy's start to go well beyond that - but that requires planning, not exactly a Thai specialty.

The disparity between the percentage that expected a daughter to take care of them and the percentage that expected a son to take care of them was fairly predictable. 

[palooka]

while 41.9% prefer assistance from government organizations such as state-run elderly care facilities. 

Personally never seen one or heard of same. 

Asked a few of the elderly 80 + around the village about this option and they thought I had lost the plot as it didn't exist.

Maybe the survey was only of HiSo plus "wanna bees in Bangkok.

Maybe less than 10% of true population, so to be ignored.

[Marc26]

4 hours ago, Grumpish said:

A system that has worked perfectly well for the last few millennia, when most people were doing well if they saw their 40th birthday. Pensions (private and state) and savings accumulated once the children are independent work much better once life expectancy's start to go well beyond that - but that requires planning, not exactly a Thai specialty.

The disparity between the percentage that expected a daughter to take care of them and the percentage that expected a son to take care of them was fairly predictable. 

I personally don't think the system has ever worked well...............

 

It puts tremendous pressure on kids and I have never seen many that aren't stressed about it

[HolyCowCm]

58 minutes ago, palooka said:

while 41.9% prefer assistance from government organizations such as state-run elderly care facilities. 

Personally never seen one or heard of same. 

Asked a few of the elderly 80 + around the village about this option and they thought I had lost the plot as it didn't exist.

Maybe the survey was only of HiSo plus "wanna bees in Bangkok.

Maybe less than 10% of true population, so to be ignored.

It exists. In my family. And I don't contribute.

[HolyCowCm]

5 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

I personally don't think the system has ever worked well...............

It puts tremendous pressure on kids and I have never seen many that aren't stressed about it

It's a weird one for sure. But mentaly the girls are probably better to send than the sons. For my extended family, I show up when it counts with money. Has to be a life thing - many things there are. 

[Vigo]

There is a gap between expectations and reality. Today, the trend is towards minimal assistance. Families are smaller and women have to work to support their own family. There isn't the time or money left over to assist the elderly parent. Where it was uncommon to see an elderly person not supported, it is becoming the  norm, a dark secret of shame for some.

 

[ChrisS]

The flip side to kids looking after their elderly parents is of course that often these same elderly parents look after the grandkids so that the parents can hold down full time employment. It would seem to be a fairly balanced system to me.

[Marc26]

2 hours ago, ChrisS said:

The flip side to kids looking after their elderly parents is of course that often these same elderly parents look after the grandkids so that the parents can hold down full time employment. It would seem to be a fairly balanced system to me.

I think that gets abused as well, to be honest

Lots of times it's ladies who can surely work stop working to take care of grankids

 

Sorry I have just seen way too many abuses and stressful situations in Thailand to think any of it is all that good

 

Now granted, the long hours and working 6 days a week feeds into this.............

 

But I don't know one family, in Canada or the US, that doesn't take care of grandparents, if needed

Or doesn't pitch in and help with kids if it is needed(grandkids, neices, nephews, etc)

 

Without all this expected support, abuse of the support, taking advantage.................

[Fanta]

A family is a gift, not a burden. When people think otherwise, something ain’t right. 

[Marc26]

2 minutes ago, Fanta said:

A family is a gift, not a burden. When people think otherwise, something ain’t right. 

A family is a gift but that doesn't mean some don't take advantage 

 

Happens everywhere but I see it a lot more in Thailand with this "system"

[Pinga]

Yep. Plenty of grandmothers taking care of their daughters' kids while they ship the daughter to "work" in richer provinces. In a way it's a win-win since the grandmother can avoid working beyond minimal child care, and the daughter gets to live a single life not burdened by raising kids. But there's also the loss - they are constantly far away from the kids and can sometimes not see them for a year or more.

[Dancbmac]

16 hours ago, Marc26 said:

I personally don't think the system has ever worked well...............

It puts tremendous pressure on kids and I have never seen many that aren't stressed about it

Seems to be different for different families.  My wife, a former high school teacher & now businesswoman, is the youngest of 4 kids, also the only daughter and supports her parents very well.  She was the only one to finish university and had no kids when I first met her and few years ago.  One brother, also no kids, contributes a little to the parents.  Sad thing is said she quit being a teacher because the pay was too low and a friend of hers recruited her to work for a Canadian company and she excelled making serious money.  My wife had a new house built for them a couple years ago as they were always poor when my wife was growing up and I’ve seen the old house in their province which is basically their storage now.  Now myself, a foreigner, is in the picture and I do not have to take care of her parents as she already established that early in our relationship.  She also owns her own condo in Bangkok so we just split our living expenses 50/50.  I have paid for her dad’s hospital bills at a private hospital a couple of times in which he worries about the cost as their medical is free at the government hospitals. Many years ago in the early 2000s I had a now former Thai girlfriend that was a more stereotypical Thai gal that needed a foreigner to take care of everything with money and that became a lesson for me in a short period of time . She was a lot of fun to be with when I was here on a holiday but when I was off working there was always financial issues including taking care of her mom and kids she had.

[HiuMak]

On 4/15/2023 at 5:41 AM, Fanta said:

A family is a gift, not a burden. When people think otherwise, something ain’t right. 

Well said. I supported by my wife's family and my parents as well as they are already old and have no means of income.

I find nothing wrong with that.