News Forum - All the single ladies… Unmarried Thai women sick of being talked down

[Thaiger]

As a foreigner who is not married and has no intention of ever marrying, unmarried Thai women are not happy with me, and neither is anyone else. It seems to me that Thai society is composed of everyone knowing their own place and knowing everyone else’s place too. There actually is a place for a …

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[palooka]

Thai society has changed greatly in the past 50 years.

Farlungs and Thai girls together were openly scorned on the streets of Bangkok 50 years ago.

[Khunmark]

This is a global phenomenon, not only restricted to Thailand.

[TheDirtyDurian]

40 minutes ago, palooka said:

Thai society has changed greatly in the past 50 years.

Farlungs and Thai girls together were openly scorned on the streets of Bangkok 50 years ago.

Not saying they weren't, but before you make sweeping statements like that, do you have any evidence to prove it? 

Now if you'd said something along the lines of, "American GIs openly cavorting with prostitutes were publicly scorned." 

That would be different. 

 

[Pinga]

At least they're not sexless like the ones in Japan. Nothing wrong with being single and mingle, plenty wrong with being single with no access to dongle. Marriage itself is useless - at least for a man - probably also for most women as it doesn't guarantee much, especially not in Thailand.

[Shade_Wilder]

"More women nowadays do not, however, feel that there is anything wrong with being single and literally sitting on the ramp, as they believe that being happy as a single woman is better than being involved in a toxic relationship." (from the article)

 

My experience(s) with Thai women are similar to the author's as more and more I see women over thirty deciding not to get married; under thirty is a different matter, but I no longer have interest in Thai women under thirty, except to look at them like a dirty old man. And, like the author, I really have no desire to get married.

This situation suits me perfectly.

While I believe, like all men do, that I am a smoking hot twelve on a scale of zero to ten, I am also self-aware enough to know that my most attractive feature for a Thai woman is my wallet, and I am okay with that. However, to Thai women over thirty who have decided not to marry, have divorced or been abandoned, I am gold, baby! Who-Hoo!

My experience(s), and I am curious if others have similar, is that getting dates among the over thirty crowd is easy, fun, and frankly more enjoyable than trying to hook up with a gorgeous but empty-headed 22-year-old. Yes, those days were a blast, but it got old.

I have found now that there is genuine interest in FWB (Friends With Benefits) situations, and enjoy several of these. Yes, I am aggressively open and upfront about my intentions, or perhaps better said 'lack of intentions'; I let the woman set the parameters of the relationship (she would anyway) and it has been received well. I know several hot chicks over thirty who genuinely love to 'get together', but also like to... er... 'get apart' as well. One thing that I have heard more than once is that they gratefully appreciate that I have no family members, especially a potential Mother-in-Law, in the Kingdom, so they never have to meet and/or tolerate them.

Win Win Win.

Finally, I have been told by Thai women (make of it what you will) that date foreign guys that we simply treat them better. Is it true? Not true? I have no evidence either way, but Foreigners/Westerners tend to treat women better in my experience; we come from a culture of respect for women.

There is one thing that hasn't changed, at least in my case; who pays. I was out the other night with a well-off woman and she told me to stop at Seven on the way back to hers. We went in and she picked up some cat food and when we got to the counter, I got the immediately recognizable look of "We are on a date; you pay." I chuckled internally, and then went and put on a show for her cat.

Anyone else have similar?

 

[palooka]

21 hours ago, TheDirtyDurian said:

Not saying they weren't, but before you make sweeping statements like that, do you have any evidence to prove it? 

Now if you'd said something along the lines of, "American GIs openly cavorting with prostitutes were publicly scorned." 

That would be different. 

I was here in Bangkok at around that time and I'm not a GI etc. But came as a tourist. Yes, there were plenty of GIs around on R&R, but due to my hair length at the time there is no way I would be mistaken for them.

Walking from a cinema to a taxi the young lady I was with was spoken to very harshly, along the lines of "shaming Thailand etc for being with a foreigner".  If it was only one "loudmouth" I wouldn't have taken any notice, but it was a small group of men and women, who all had something to say (negatively) whilst we went past the que to enter the cinema.

Sorry I don't have a recording of the incident as proof, they did have tape recorders then, but no one at the time suggested I may need the encounter as proof for a forum 50 years later.

I do hope that you are not naive enough to believe that ALL Thais love foreigners. 

 

[palooka]

21 hours ago, TheDirtyDurian said:

 "American GIs openly cavorting with prostitutes were publicly scorned." 

That would be different. 

From my personal experience of the GIs on R&R at time they were generally very discreet regarding behaviour publicly and well behaved. I'm not saying that a percentage were not as you suggested, but they would definitely have been a very minor percentage.

Sadly, many that I actually conversed with, were extremely quiet and basically "mentally lost" in this form of "normal" society. Many went home in that "lost" state and it wasn't only US personnel either.

Now they call it PTS.

[TheDirtyDurian]

15 minutes ago, palooka said:

I was here in Bangkok at around that time and I'm not a GI etc. But came as a tourist. Yes, there were plenty of GIs around on R&R, but due to my hair length at the time there is no way I would be mistaken for them.

Walking from a cinema to a taxi the young lady I was with was spoken to very harshly, along the lines of "shaming Thailand etc for being with a foreigner".  If it was only one "loudmouth" I wouldn't have taken any notice, but it was a small group of men and women, who all had something to say (negatively) whilst we went past the que to enter the cinema.

Sorry I don't have a recording of the incident as proof, they did have tape recorders then, but no one at the time suggested I may need the encounter as proof for a forum 50 years later.

I do hope that you are not naive enough to believe that ALL Thais love foreigners. 

Nope, just not naive enough to believe random rambling statements on t'internet from strangers presented as facts, when really what we're talking about is ONE completely anecdotal story.

[palooka]

12 hours ago, Shade_Wilder said:

"More women nowadays do not, however, feel that there is anything wrong with being single and literally sitting on the ramp, as they believe that being happy as a single woman is better than being involved in a toxic relationship." (from the article)

My experience(s) with Thai women are similar to the author's as more and more I see women over thirty deciding not to get married; under thirty is a different matter, but I no longer have interest in Thai women under thirty, except to look at them like a dirty old man. And, like the author, I really have no desire to get married.

This situation suits me perfectly.

Win Win Win.

You seem to have "nailed it down" for the life you want in Thailand, many have failed many more have gone a different path and succeeded.

Best wishes as those guidelines change over the years, and they will.

It's called age. They talk about 4 letter bad words, that 3 letter one is worse.

[palooka]

2 minutes ago, TheDirtyDurian said:

Nope, just not naive enough to believe random rambling statements on t'internet from strangers presented as facts, when really what we're talking about is ONE completely anecdotal story.

Not here to please everyone, especially the cynical. Just add my 2 cents worth to the conversation. 

[Faz]

19 minutes ago, TheDirtyDurian said:

Nope, just not naive enough to believe random rambling statements on t'internet from strangers presented as facts, when really what we're talking about is ONE completely anecdotal story.

It's called an opinion based on his experience, and they differ from facts.

[TheDirtyDurian]

4 minutes ago, Faz said:

It's called an opinion based on his experience, and they differ from facts.

So better to relate the experience in the beginning no? ️️ 

Then we can all decide whether a statement presented as a general truth is valid. 

[Faz]

1 hour ago, TheDirtyDurian said:

So better to relate the experience in the beginning no? ️️ 

He did!

On 2/17/2023 at 8:16 PM, palooka said:

Thai society has changed greatly in the past 50 years.

Farlungs and Thai girls together were openly scorned on the streets of Bangkok 50 years ago.

 

1 hour ago, TheDirtyDurian said:

Then we can all decide whether a statement presented as a general truth is valid. 

That's the moderators decision to decide what represents an opinion as opposed to inferred facts, not yours. If you feel a post is misinforming, report it.

Perhaps you should sometimes listen to your seniors, rather than ridicule them.
You weren't even around in the 70's.

If you want some facts of the turmoil in Thailand in the 70's there's plenty around. I can fully understand there was a certain resentment to foreigners during that decade, particularly the Japanese.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1970s_peasant_revolts_in_Thailand
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Category:1970s_in_Thailand
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1973_Thai_popular_uprising#:~:text='Day of Great Sorrow'),Thai university students in politics.
 

[Grumpish]

2 hours ago, palooka said:

I was here in Bangkok at around that time and I'm not a GI etc. But came as a tourist. Yes, there were plenty of GIs around on R&R, but due to my hair length at the time there is no way I would be mistaken for them.

Walking from a cinema to a taxi the young lady I was with was spoken to very harshly, along the lines of "shaming Thailand etc for being with a foreigner".  If it was only one "loudmouth" I wouldn't have taken any notice, but it was a small group of men and women, who all had something to say (negatively) whilst we went past the que to enter the cinema.

Sorry I don't have a recording of the incident as proof, they did have tape recorders then, but no one at the time suggested I may need the encounter as proof for a forum 50 years later.

I do hope that you are not naive enough to believe that ALL Thais love foreigners. 

Not 50 years ago,  but in the early 90's, I had something similar, where the young lady I was with asked that we leave the restaurant mid-meal because she was being bad-mouthed by a group of Thais at a nearby table. I don't know what was said, but she was visibly upset. 

[Shade_Wilder]

 

I would add my voice to @palooka and @Grumpish; I started living/working in East Asia in the late 80s, and on several occasions (in Thailand and regionally) the young lady I was with was called a hooker or told that she was mentally deranged for being with me. Moreover, it wasn't subtle; it occurred a few times on the street, at restaurant(s), and/or in movie line-ups and similar situations. And, something that I have never quite understood, in my case it was always older ladies who did it.

Yes, this is anecdotal evidence, but it is important to remember that the plural of anecdote is data. Additionally, I would say that there is a lot of knowledge and experience of Thailand on this Forum and yes, plenty of nonsense too, but if you can discern what is good, it'll lead to a deeper understanding of the Kingdom and its peoples, thus more enjoyable visits when they occur.

I very much agree with the general tenor of the article and have noticed changes through the years, and changes for the better. Thailand has had female Business Leaders, Entertainers, Public Servants and even a female Prime Minister (before the 'but but but Thaksin Brigade' arrives, she got the job the exact same way most Thais, male or female, get jobs; through family connections). I would have preferred that Thai women made more progress, more quickly, but on the other hand, I have deep respect for the way that they have changed society and their roles within it without losing that scrumptious femininity that we guys love so much.

My anecdotal evidence concurs with what was published in the article, and I would simply say to Thai men that if you want a Thai woman to be your bride, you are going to have to raise your game; they ain't gonna tolerate too much crap anymore.

 

 

[BillO]

As men we have gotten pretty sick of the nonsense of feminism. Don’t come here as a foreigner and bring this toxic nonsense to a country that understands men and women are different and that it’s ok to for a woman to be a wife. You want to stay single? Fine! We’ll give you all the help you want to do so by ignoring you. Men are fed up with toxic entitled western women.