News Forum - Thai woman spends 300k baht on wedding but groom doesn’t turn up

[Thaiger]

A Thai bride welcomed all her guests to her wedding on May 1 in Prachinburi province, eastern Thailand, but the groom never turned up. The man claimed to be a soldier, but when he didn’t attend his own wedding, the bride asked the Royal Thai Army to locate him. When the army checked their database, they didn’t find any army personnel under his name. The bride expects he couldn’t afford to pay the dowry requested from her parents. The bride, a 40 year old factory worker named Namthip, spent ฿300,000 on the wedding in Kabin Buri district. She said she […]

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[Noble_Design]

So sad for the bride that was not meant to be. 

[HolyCowCm]

Well so sad for her but who in the world does things like that? I hope she went ahead and let every one eat and drink to at least party the sad situation away. Normally people will give a gift as in money when attending. Hopefully people felt sorry for her and let her have that to absorb some costs.

[Pinetree]

So sad for her and deeply embarrassing for her family. 

[JamesR]

A dowry, which century are we in?

I would do a runner too if I was asked to pay a dowry at the last minute. 

[HolyCowCm]

34 minutes ago, JamesR said:

A dowry, which century are we in?

I would do a runner too if I was asked to pay a dowry at the last minute. 

Probably definetely not the last minute, but I am thinking that he was looking to get more out of this than she was and in the end just couldn't pull it off.

[kalyan]

47 minutes ago, JamesR said:

A dowry, which century are we in?

I would do a runner too if I was asked to pay a dowry at the last minute. 

the most important aspect at thailand, they demand dowry, the starting point of your death ! , what he did is perfect.

[JamesR]

6 minutes ago, kalyan said:

the most important aspect at thailand, they demand dowry, the starting point of your death ! , what he did is perfect.

".....they demand dowry,....."

Not in my experience they don't. 

[JamesR]

18 minutes ago, HolyCowCm said:

Probably definetely not the last minute, but I am thinking that he was looking to get more out of this than she was and in the end just couldn't pull it off.

What fool would ever pay a dowry?

 

[kalyan]

this is one of the system which ruins the marriage in thai families, especially in a lower class families this becomes an point of dispute and restless starts at starting.

I dont think men would put an substantiate investment upfront for ladies to whom he love and marry, most of the time the reason women have to stand alone in their lives to look after themselves.

You see the same classic example in thailand.

 

Let us take a example of India, yes there is a dowry system there, it is reverse of thailand, women to marry men their familes pay substantially to men.

example, gold, cash, house, land, car, all house hold materials, however this increases and decreases based on the men business and networth, family status, earning per month.

basically an business, however when it comes to divorce most of the women go back to court and try to get back as much as invested on the marriage.

In summary: The Dowry system needs to go away if women of thailand needs to get a good boys, however the social justice system also needs to improve on the divorce and marriage binding.

Religion plays a major factor in advising the couples or bring moral values for people on marriage binding.

basically it is a evolution in the evolution some wake up some sleep, the people who sleep go into trouble, the people who wake up slide away.

 

 

 

[JamesR]

1 hour ago, Pinetree said:

So sad for her and deeply embarrassing for her family. 

Step in and help her out, just think for just a few dollars you could buy her instead.

[Pinetree]

55 minutes ago, JamesR said:

Step in and help her out, just think for just a few dollars you could buy her instead.

been drinking a lot of strong beer today have you? 

[palooka]

Think the Sin Sod a bit steep.

40 years old, works in a factory, maybe married before also children ????

If a uni degree, good job, 20 years younger, first time round then they were in the correct ball park, maybe.

On a factory workers income the next few years would have her on bare income paying for the wedding, heck of lot of financial strain on him. 

How would he pay for the Mia Noi.

[JamesR]

32 minutes ago, Pinetree said:

been drinking a lot of strong beer today have you? 

Not yet as it is still morning in the UK, a bit later maybe. 

[joseph]

Ahh, 29 years ago the dowry to my wife's parents was 400K baht + 6 baht gold. 2 day wedding complete with an elephant and a three legged dog in the parade to the wife's house. I had an espoused family since mine couldn't attend. My adopted family disputed the dowry and negotiated it down to 200K baht. All this was done at the front gate of parents house. It was all very theatrical and fun. Most of the money was returned to us for our new house, etc. These were the "old" days when there was a tradition and culture to uphold. Times have changed along with the reasons people choose to migrate here. 

[Rookiescot]

I believe in these circumstances it is the duty of the best man to step in.

Any volunteers lads?

[Ramanathan.P]

Now  that the Royal Thai Army has announced that there is no such person in their list......

[Pinetree]

3 hours ago, JamesR said:

Not yet as it is still morning in the UK, a bit later maybe. 

ah, that explains a lot. 

[Pinetree]

1 hour ago, Rookiescot said:

I believe in these circumstances it is the duty of the best man to step in.

Any volunteers lads?

too  old for me

[ace035]

That Sgt Major is a hoax.

[Soidog]

6 hours ago, JamesR said:

A dowry, which century are we in?

I would do a runner too if I was asked to pay a dowry at the last minute. 

Yes I agree. Although it’s a very sad and embarrassing situation and the guy must be a gutless prick, if the dowry was the issue then she should be just as angry with her parents.
 

A number of times I’ve heard phrases such as the dowry is  “Compensating Parents” for the money they have invested on things like education. I never thought of my kids as an investment for me. I just did all I could to give them a good start in life and hope they go on to lead a long and happy life. A serious discussion is required about the whole notion of dowries in Thailand. It maintains the class divide and should be a thing consigned to history. 

I hear many people say most, if not all of the money is returned to the couple and it’s more a show of wealth. Well sorry, that’s equally sad and pathetic in these modern times. 

[HolyCowCm]

11 hours ago, palooka said:

If a uni degree, good job, 20 years younger, first time round then they were in the correct ball park, maybe.

On a factory workers income the next few years would have her on bare income paying for the wedding, heck of lot of financial strain on him. 

Article copy paste: He was a good natured man, consistently got along well with my family, and took care of everything in the house.”

Well the article touched on as pointed to him at her folks or Family home and getting along well with everyone and doing house work of some sort. So he was really pretty darn close and had a consistent looped lie of his non existent life. Ran it to the very end and badly ruined someones feelings causing loss of huge face and big debt.

Best she could have done after was damage control and continue to skip the step of the first planned mariage vow formalities, and go straight serve food and drinks for her guests. Just even a party in these BS covid years might be just what the everyone needed as "What the Doctor Ordered". And then hopefully the guests money gift envelopes they gave would be hers to apply to the debt and not given back having to be returned.

And for this case I think if there is a Go Fund Me for Thailand version then it would be in-order to reach out and ask for help. Just think if she got or finds out just a wee bit coming up that she got pregnant from this chump. I know but 40 year olds still can pop an egg down that can be fertilized.

Wish the best for her, and these type of IQ gullible people are exactly what the you know who is running the boat really want their majority of folk to be.

[palooka]

1 hour ago, HolyCowCm said:

He was a good natured man, consistently got along well with my family, and took care of everything in the house.”

Very strange the whole relationship.  Not meeting any of his family at all is weird straight up and usually, around here at least,  it is the elder matrons from both families who get together to decide the Sin Sod not long after the declaration of intent.

They come out with some complicated ones also, some agree on 100,000 baht, with 50,000 baht returned after the wedding, some the whole lot.  It is a lot about  "show".  Some agree that the couple get to keep all of it for a good start to wedded life.

Know of a few Army fellows who are always out playing the field, they are married already, but "army duties" give them a lot of excuses to have freedom away from the wife.

[palooka]

8 hours ago, Soidog said:

Yes I agree. Although it’s a very sad and embarrassing situation and the guy must be a gutless prick, if the dowry was the issue then she should be just as angry with her parents.
 

A number of times I’ve heard phrases such as the dowry is  “Compensating Parents” for the money they have invested on things like education. I never thought of my kids as an investment for me. I just did all I could to give them a good start in life and hope they go on to lead a long and happy life. A serious discussion is required about the whole notion of dowries in Thailand. It maintains the class divide and should be a thing consigned to history. 

I hear many people say most, if not all of the money is returned to the couple and it’s more a show of wealth. Well sorry, that’s equally sad and pathetic in these modern times. 

Thai culture is very hard to change and bringing it  kicking and screaming into the modern ages will take more time than most of us have left. 

Education is probaly the key and the demise of the poorly educated elders. Thai respect for elders and their opinions is fine but a lot never had schooling or only 3-4 years so all they have to judge life matters are traditions. 

Wife says that sometimes the Sin Sod was used to discourage a marriage also.

Too young, volatile relationship already or the families dislike each other. So they make the demands high knowing that the family couldn't pay, therefore no marriage.

[Ramanathan.P]

Well...it is their way of life. No one can change it except themselves. Thai people imitate to live other's life. For many girls it is like a "fantasy life". They always dream for a white prince on a white horse with lots of white gold and begging at their feet for their hand. The issues is many failed to see the reality of life only to awake from that fantasy world later in life. For them "love is money and money is love". There is nothing in between. They always wanted to "Show off" to others ending up in deep disaster. They always try to live beyond their means. Well, I am not saying all. There are exceptional cases. But on a general view, there is a big gap between the haves and have not. So the have not always look for a windfall to become the haves. Marriage is one such path for the entire family. Many want the foreigners who marry Thai girls to be the train that is pulling the entire row of carriages and loads. This puts heavy burden on the man, who sometimes, just leave them or came broke eventually ending up in committing suicide