Expats and their Thai Wives

[AussieBob]

Removed.

Edited July 9, 2021 by AussieBob
spelling

[Andrew Reeve]

Very well written AussieBob

[gordo2613]

On 6/18/2021 at 4:17 PM, AussieBob said:

Apologies to KC - hard to keep this below 10 lines :)

Some time ago I was asked "why?" Why did I leave Aust and end up marrying a Thai lady in Thailand.  This was not asked by one of those obnoxious racist bigoted idiots that assume all Thai girls are 'bar girls' - and they are of course exactly the type of Expat idiot that gets taken for a ride and ripped off by a Thai bar girl.  No this was a reasonable question from a reasonable person I had known for many years.  Besides the obvious about not wanting to be divorced again and financially 'pillaged', and the lovely and 'free' country that Thailand is (unlike our Nanny State), and the far cheaper cost of living, and that most Thai ladies look after themselves physically and mentally, the answer was not easy to provide quickly.  As far as I am concerned, the short answer is because Thai ladies dont think. But the long answer is this - my Thai wife (and most Thai ladies) do not think:

that she is a princess, that the sun shines out of her backside/frontside, that being feminine is somehow ‘wrong’, that being fat is OK, that she is ‘equal’ to any man at everything, that she needs to ‘find herself’ or needs to be ‘empowered’, that she needs the ‘approval’ of other women or any man, that cleaning the house or doing the washing is somehow ‘demeaning’, that she is not accountable for the things she does in her life, that she is not responsible for her own life, that she can tell other people how they should live their life, that anyone can tell her how she should live her life, that it is her Parent’s job to look after her during her life, that it is also the Goverment’s job to look after her during her life, that it is her Husband’s job to give her whatever she wants, that other people should behave ‘properly’, that she can complain about anything that she doesnt like or agree with, that she deserves to be given gifts constantly to be ‘loved’, that her husband needs to be ‘managed’ and ‘improved’, that having a beer with my mates means I dont want to be with her, that I must build up ‘credit points’ before I can do something without her, that I must be nagged to get things done around the home, that cats are trustworthy animals, that dogs are dirty and stupid, that farts are offensive and disgusting, that doing anything dangerous (driving a car bike etc) cannot be enjoyed, that she can drive a car or ride a bike as good as any man

But she is a lady and she does not think that she can be wrong, that she can be criticised, or that she can be laughed at. And once a month or so she is grumpy and moody for 2-3 days

She is a lovely feminine Thai lady and she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life – period.  And that is why I married a Thai lady when I was in my late 50s. 

PS - she may look 30+, but she is actually 50+.  Ignoring 'those' stares from fat older western women when we are walking around is just a part of the deal. 

exactly

 

[Dancbmac]

On 6/18/2021 at 1:17 PM, AussieBob said:

Apologies to KC - hard to keep this below 10 lines :)

Some time ago I was asked "why?" Why did I leave Aust and end up marrying a Thai lady in Thailand.  This was not asked by one of those obnoxious racist bigoted idiots that assume all Thai girls are 'bar girls' - and they are of course exactly the type of Expat idiot that gets taken for a ride and ripped off by a Thai bar girl.  No this was a reasonable question from a reasonable person I had known for many years.  Besides the obvious about not wanting to be divorced again and financially 'pillaged', and the lovely and 'free' country that Thailand is (unlike our Nanny State), and the far cheaper cost of living, and that most Thai ladies look after themselves physically and mentally, the answer was not easy to provide quickly.  As far as I am concerned, the short answer is because Thai ladies dont think. But the long answer is this - my Thai wife (and most Thai ladies) do not think:

that she is a princess, that the sun shines out of her backside/frontside, that being feminine is somehow ‘wrong’, that being fat is OK, that she is ‘equal’ to any man at everything, that she needs to ‘find herself’ or needs to be ‘empowered’, that she needs the ‘approval’ of other women or any man, that cleaning the house or doing the washing is somehow ‘demeaning’, that she is not accountable for the things she does in her life, that she is not responsible for her own life, that she can tell other people how they should live their life, that anyone can tell her how she should live her life, that it is her Parent’s job to look after her during her life, that it is also the Goverment’s job to look after her during her life, that it is her Husband’s job to give her whatever she wants, that other people should behave ‘properly’, that she can complain about anything that she doesnt like or agree with, that she deserves to be given gifts constantly to be ‘loved’, that her husband needs to be ‘managed’ and ‘improved’, that having a beer with my mates means I dont want to be with her, that I must build up ‘credit points’ before I can do something without her, that I must be nagged to get things done around the home, that cats are trustworthy animals, that dogs are dirty and stupid, that farts are offensive and disgusting, that doing anything dangerous (driving a car bike etc) cannot be enjoyed, that she can drive a car or ride a bike as good as any man

But she is a lady and she does not think that she can be wrong, that she can be criticised, or that she can be laughed at. And once a month or so she is grumpy and moody for 2-3 days

She is a lovely feminine Thai lady and she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life – period.  And that is why I married a Thai lady when I was in my late 50s. 

PS - she may look 30+, but she is actually 50+.  Ignoring 'those' stares from fat older western women when we are walking around is just a part of the deal. 

Wow, you almost described my American ex-wife. We divorced in 2006 and after dealing with her issues for 22 years, I never wanted to get married again.  I was working outside America after I divorced and would take vacations to other countries.  Had a Filipina girlfriend for a while and a couple of different Thai girlfriends in which all depended on me for money and then was introduced to my current Thai wife by a mutual friend.  My Thai wife is well educated and a former high school teacher, and has traveled to other countries on her own for her business and holidays.  She is high ranking executive with an Canadian international company.  Before we met in person she told me that she was extremely busy with her work and didn’t have time for a man in her life, but we both agreed we should meet soon as to not offend our mutual friend.  To keep it short things work out better than expected for the both of us and we got married after dating for a couple of years.  She is very busy with her business and has adapted well last year with the covid issue and does most of her work remotely now.  Before she would speak at big conventions around Asia, but the past year & a half these have been remote on Zoom.  As big and important and busy as she is with her company, she takes the time to nurture our relationship, always worried about food and almost always in a very good happy mood.  Somehow she stays in shape with all the food we eat and if she steps on a scale and is 1 kg higher she wants to bike ride more to lose it.  She spoils me and others on her team when goals at work show great results, paid for her Thai team a holiday at the Maldives .  I wish I had a boss or supervisor do that for me back in the day!  I help her out with some of her work when we were going to conventions, pack some of her boxes, or just things around our home since I am retired and have the time which in turn gives her time to unwind and relax when her work is finished.

[AussieBob]

4 hours ago, Dancbmac said:

Wow, you almost described my American ex-wife. We divorced in 2006 and after dealing with her issues for 22 years, I never wanted to get married again.  I was working outside America after I divorced and would take vacations to other countries.  Had a Filipina girlfriend for a while and a couple of different Thai girlfriends in which all depended on me for money and then was introduced to my current Thai wife by a mutual friend.  My Thai wife is well educated and a former high school teacher, and has traveled to other countries on her own for her business and holidays.  She is high ranking executive with an Canadian international company.  Before we met in person she told me that she was extremely busy with her work and didn’t have time for a man in her life, but we both agreed we should meet soon as to not offend our mutual friend.  To keep it short things work out better than expected for the both of us and we got married after dating for a couple of years.  She is very busy with her business and has adapted well last year with the covid issue and does most of her work remotely now.  Before she would speak at big conventions around Asia, but the past year & a half these have been remote on Zoom.  As big and important and busy as she is with her company, she takes the time to nurture our relationship, always worried about food and almost always in a very good happy mood.  Somehow she stays in shape with all the food we eat and if she steps on a scale and is 1 kg higher she wants to bike ride more to lose it.  She spoils me and others on her team when goals at work show great results, paid for her Thai team a holiday at the Maldives .  I wish I had a boss or supervisor do that for me back in the day!  I help her out with some of her work when we were going to conventions, pack some of her boxes, or just things around our home since I am retired and have the time which in turn gives her time to unwind and relax when her work is finished.

Congratulations on finding a good one - funny how things turn out in life - glad that you are both happy.

[Gigi]

Mah ... what to say !!! I met some of all levels, cultured, peasant, young and old, bar lady, ex bar lady "who has come out of the loop" ... it's another breed. STOP
PS: I forgot I have been married since 2007 to a Thai lady

[Aussie]

And here is my story:

My first marriage to a PNG women broke up in a small mining town by the name of Goldsworthy in Western Australia in 1992. My son was only 2 years old. Both went back to PNG to live. 
As this was not easy for me some work colleagues suggested that I should have a holiday and enjoy myself in Thailand Pattaya. 
I followed their advice and booked a trip for 2 weeks staying in a guesthouse named Chris Guesthouse in Soi 13 not far from TQ on beach road and Doggy Bar, where there is now a supermarket. 
I met many good friends from all over the world. Everyone had money, partied hard, American Aircraft Carrier The Enterprise was coming in, Thai people were happy and made good money. 
I met my first wife in a bar called Beer Bar Bird in Soi 13/3 up the the road from Shamrock. 
I extended my holidays and helped the owner of the guesthouse I was staying building Jeeps which in them days were available to rent on beach road if any of you may remember.
As you do, I fell in love and as it happened she got pregnant. My daughter was born in Si Racha. 
Unfortunately our relationship was not all that good so we both agreed that I would take care of our daughter in Australia 

to be continued 
 

 

[Aussie]

3 minutes ago, Aussie said:

And here is my story:

My first marriage to a PNG women broke up in a small mining town by the name of Goldsworthy in Western Australia in 1992. My son was only 2 years old. Both went back to PNG to live. 
As this was not easy for me some work colleagues suggested that I should have a holiday and enjoy myself in Thailand Pattaya. 
I followed their advice and booked a trip for 2 weeks staying in a guesthouse named Chris Guesthouse in Soi 13 not far from TQ on beach road and Doggy Bar, where there is now a supermarket. 
I met many good friends from all over the world. Everyone had money, partied hard, American Aircraft Carrier The Enterprise was coming in, Thai people were happy and made good money. 
I met my first wife in a bar called Beer Bar Bird in Soi 13/3 up the the road from Shamrock. 
I extended my holidays and helped the owner of the guesthouse I was staying building Jeeps which in them days were available to rent on beach road if any of you may remember.
As you do, I fell in love and as it happened she got pregnant. My daughter was born in Si Racha. 
Unfortunately our relationship was not all that good so we both agreed that I would take care of our daughter in Australia. 
Keeping in mind that children should have a mother to grow up with I decided to bring her mother to Australia Port Hedland for a holiday.

 

to be continued  
 

 

[Aussie]

Why am I unable to view replies???

[colinneil]

Ex pats and Thai wives, well i have had both, was married to a Thai knife wielding PHYSCO, still have the scar.

Went back to the UK, went on Thai love links, hell what an experience, over 130 woman in all age groups after me.

Got a message from A 41 year old school teacher, saying i am single, never had a boyfriend, a virgin, yea, yea thinks i, well it turned out to be true.

Chatted to her for 4 months, came over to meet her, told quite clearly, no sex before marriage.... OH s##t.

Stayed together for 3 months, seperate bedrooms.

Went back to the UK for 9 months, back here, got married after 4 days, that was 10 years ago.

Best move of my life, fantastic loving/ caring lady, best wife a man could wish for.

After 2 years of marriage our lives were turned upside down, due to my accident, still together, she is there caring for me 24/7, she is a fantastic lady/ wife.

[AussieBob]

On 6/18/2021 at 4:17 PM, AussieBob said:

Removed.

I wanted to edit and update a few things - but it seems I took too long:  here is the edited version.

 

Some time ago I was asked "why?" Why did I retire early and leave Australia and end up marrying a Thai lady in Thailand.  This was not asked by one of those obnoxious racist bigoted bogan Aussies that assume all Thai girls are 'bar girls' - and they are of course exactly the type of Expat idiot that gets taken for a ride and ripped off by a Thai bar girl.  No - this was a reasonable genuine question from a very well educated bloke that I had known for many years.  Besides the obvious reasons about not wanting to be divorced again and financially 'pillaged', and the lovely and 'free' country that Thailand is (unlike our Nanny State), and the far cheaper cost of living, and that most Thai ladies look after themselves physically and mentally - the answer was not that easy to provide quickly. 

The short answer to why I married a Thai lady is:  “Because Thai ladies do not think”.  

The answer to why I retired early and moved to Thailand is simple – because I could.

But the long answer to why I married my Thai wife (and this is about most Thai ladies) is because she does not think:

that she is a princess, that the sun shines out of her backside/frontside, that being feminine is somehow ‘wrong’, that being fat is OK, that she is ‘equal’ to any man at everything, that she needs to ‘find herself’ or needs to be ‘empowered’, that she needs the ‘approval’ of other women or any man, that cleaning the house or doing the washing is somehow ‘demeaning’, that she is not accountable for the things she does in her life, that she is not responsible for her own life, that she can tell other people how they should live their life, that anyone can tell her how she should live her life, that it is her Parent’s job to look after her during her life, that it is also the Goverment’s job to look after her during her life, that it is her Husband’s job to give her whatever she wants, that other people should behave ‘properly’, that she can complain about anything that she doesnt like or agree with, that she deserves to be given gifts constantly to be ‘loved’, that her husband needs to be ‘managed’ and ‘improved’, that having a beer with my mates means I dont want to be with her, that I must build up ‘credit points’ before I can do something without her, that I must be nagged to get things done around the home, that cats are trustworthy animals, that dogs are dirty and stupid, that farts are offensive and disgusting, that doing anything dangerous (driving a car bike etc) cannot be enjoyed, that she can drive a car or ride a bike as good as any man

But she is a lady and she does not think that she can be wrong, that she can be criticised, or that she can be laughed at. And once a month or so she is grumpy and moody for 2-3 days

She is a lovely feminine Thai lady and she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life – period.  And that is why I married a Thai lady when I was in my late 50s. 

PS - she may look 30+, but she is actually 50+.  Ignoring 'those' stares from fat older western women when we are walking around is just a part of the deal. 

 

[AussieBob]

31 minutes ago, Aussie said:

Why am I unable to view replies???

No idea mate - I had removed the post to update and edit it, but then forgot (getting old). I just tried to edit it again but it would not 'take' so I pasted it in as a reply. I also planned to edit another post - better go check that quickly too.  

Looking forward to more updates on your story - sounds very interesting. 

[AussieBob]

23 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Ex pats and Thai wives, well i have had both, was married to a Thai knife wielding PHYSCO, still have the scar.

Went back to the UK, went on Thai love links, hell what an experience, over 130 woman in all age groups after me.

Got a message from A 41 year old school teacher, saying i am single, never had a boyfriend, a virgin, yea, yea thinks i, well it turned out to be true.

Chatted to her for 4 months, came over to meet her, told quite clearly, no sex before marriage.... OH s##t.

Stayed together for 3 months, seperate bedrooms.

Went back to the UK for 9 months, back here, got married after 4 days, that was 10 years ago.

Best move of my life, fantastic loving/ caring lady, best wife a man could wish for.

After 2 years of marriage our lives were turned upside down, due to my accident, still together, she is there caring for me 24/7, she is a fantastic lady/ wife.

Similar story mate - but not the same of course.  I had met quite a few Thai ladies and stayed in contact when I went back to Aust.   Eventually all but one wanted me to send money - and when I said I was staying in Aust she was the only one who was very nice about it and wished me well. Bingo.  

Looks like you have - I was going to say 'landed on your feet' - but as per our earlier exchange of jokes I can see you have a great sense of humour - so I said it :)   And you are right, she is a fantastic Thai lady.

[colinneil]

6 minutes ago, AussieBob said:

I was going to say 'landed on your feet'

Ha bloody ha, but at first yes i did land on my feet, sadly no more.

She is the only Thai woman i have met who has never asked for money.

Also my ex demanded 20.000 baht per month, my present wife never asks.

Now here is an example..... Yesterday i gave her a shopping list, as due to covid i am not going out the gate.

Several items, so i said to her take 1.000 baht from my card... Yes she has my A.T.M. card, something i never did with my ex.

She came home in the evening, holy s##t woman why you buy so much?

How much you take from my card, 1.000 baht as you said, there is more than 1.000 in groceries there, no problem dear she says i paid, now that is an honest woman.

[gummy]

1 hour ago, Aussie said:

Why am I unable to view replies???

if you can read this it is because no one else replied 555

[gummy]

57 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Ex pats and Thai wives, well i have had both, was married to a Thai knife wielding PHYSCO, still have the scar.

Went back to the UK, went on Thai love links, hell what an experience, over 130 woman in all age groups after me.

Got a message from A 41 year old school teacher, saying i am single, never had a boyfriend, a virgin, yea, yea thinks i, well it turned out to be true.

Chatted to her for 4 months, came over to meet her, told quite clearly, no sex before marriage.... OH s##t.

Stayed together for 3 months, seperate bedrooms.

Went back to the UK for 9 months, back here, got married after 4 days, that was 10 years ago.

Best move of my life, fantastic loving/ caring lady, best wife a man could wish for.

After 2 years of marriage our lives were turned upside down, due to my accident, still together, she is there caring for me 24/7, she is a fantastic lady/ wife.

Yes Colin there are some real gems in this life irrespective of their background and how circumstances change.

[AussieBob]

16 minutes ago, colinneil said:

Ha bloody ha, but at first yes i did land on my feet, sadly no more.

She is the only Thai woman i have met who has never asked for money.

Also my ex demanded 20.000 baht per month, my present wife never asks.

Now here is an example..... Yesterday i gave her a shopping list, as due to covid i am not going out the gate.

Several items, so i said to her take 1.000 baht from my card... Yes she has my A.T.M. card, something i never did with my ex.

She came home in the evening, holy s##t woman why you buy so much?

How much you take from my card, 1.000 baht as you said, there is more than 1.000 in groceries there, no problem dear she says i paid, now that is an honest woman.

Cheers mate - mine is the same - never asked for money and always gives back the change (or spends it all of course).

 

[Khunmark]

I’ve never really understood why people look down their noses at the whole Thai/foreigner older man/younger women marriage deal. These arrangements clearly suit a lot of couples. And they seem to work out pretty well in most cases.

[gummy]

On 7/15/2021 at 11:02 AM, AussieBob said:

Cheers mate - mine is the same - never asked for money and always gives back the change (or spends it all of course).

And luckily I have one now just like that too

[thai3]

I married my Thai language teacher, still can't speak Thai- can't afford the lessons!

[gummy]

1 hour ago, Khunmark said:

I’ve never really understood why people look down their noses at the whole Thai/foreigner older man/younger women marriage deal. These arrangements clearly suit a lot of couples. And they seem to work out pretty well in most cases.

Two main reasons cynicism and envy.

[Objectivance]

1 hour ago, Khunmark said:

I’ve never really understood why people look down their noses at the whole Thai/foreigner older man/younger women marriage deal. These arrangements clearly suit a lot of couples. And they seem to work out pretty well in most cases.

Oh man, I met my wife in the states when we were mid 20's and she was too small to even wear a US size 0 so she had to shop in the teens section at the mall stores. You wanna talk about being scowled/glared at by fat entitled white women in their 50's. Yeesh, one of the few times in life that I thought I'd have to draw my concealed firearm to get out alive.

[gummy]

1 minute ago, Objectivance said:

Oh man, I met my wife in the states when we were mid 20's and she was too small to even wear a US size 0 so she had to shop in the teens section at the mall stores. You wanna talk about being scowled/glared at by fat entitled white women in their 50's. Yeesh, one of the few times in life that I thought I'd have to draw my concealed firearm to get out alive.

Another problem is when they are so small and obviously very young looking you get all the Catholic priests start to salivate when they see her. 555

[MrStretch]

 I think I married Aussie Bob's wife's twin...an absolute perfect description of my wife.

I was working as a teacher trainer and had gone to Malaysia for break.  While there I recieved an SMS, "Someone here misses you." from a number I didn't know.

Come to find out it was the company's business manager. Started to date and my job disappeared after a bombing in Hat Yai, and I began to use Thailand as my home base, but took jobs in other countries; Abu Dhabi, Korea, etc.  On a two-week vacation from a job in Korea, we got married...and god love her, she's stayed with me through all kinds of my stupidity.

I was 47, my first marriage, she was 37, her second and brought along my two step-kids, whom I support.  It will be 14 years the first week of August.

 

[Objectivance]

1 hour ago, gummy said:

Another problem is when they are so small and obviously very young looking you get all the Catholic priests start to salivate when they see her. 555

Well she's not a prepubescent boy, so no worries there mate.