Expats and their Thai Wives

[Sherman]

On 6/24/2021 at 12:01 AM, gordo2613 said:

exactly

I made the same mistake.

[garyknrd]

After 12 years with my Thai GF I left and decided I wanted a change... What a mistake. uggg

[AussieBob]

On 1/4/2022 at 2:22 AM, garyknrd said:

After 12 years with my Thai GF I left and decided I wanted a change... What a mistake. uggg

My advice:-  'accidently' leave a message on her phone for someone else (another bloke), write something so she knows it was not meant for her - send it late at night (drunk). If she contacts you back then she is still interested - if not then she aint. The problem though - is she interested in seeing you again, or interested in some 'payback'. Ask how she is going if she does - and when she asks you the same - say OK, but you would love to catch up again. Meet in a public place for coffee/chat - take it from there.

[Vince]

On 7/14/2021 at 8:19 PM, AussieBob said:

I wanted to edit and update a few things - but it seems I took too long:  here is the edited version.

Some time ago I was asked "why?" Why did I retire early and leave Australia and end up marrying a Thai lady in Thailand.  This was not asked by one of those obnoxious racist bigoted bogan Aussies that assume all Thai girls are 'bar girls' - and they are of course exactly the type of Expat idiot that gets taken for a ride and ripped off by a Thai bar girl.  No - this was a reasonable genuine question from a very well educated bloke that I had known for many years.  Besides the obvious reasons about not wanting to be divorced again and financially 'pillaged', and the lovely and 'free' country that Thailand is (unlike our Nanny State), and the far cheaper cost of living, and that most Thai ladies look after themselves physically and mentally - the answer was not that easy to provide quickly. 

The short answer to why I married a Thai lady is:  “Because Thai ladies do not think”.  

The answer to why I retired early and moved to Thailand is simple – because I could.

But the long answer to why I married my Thai wife (and this is about most Thai ladies) is because she does not think:

that she is a princess, that the sun shines out of her backside/frontside, that being feminine is somehow ‘wrong’, that being fat is OK, that she is ‘equal’ to any man at everything, that she needs to ‘find herself’ or needs to be ‘empowered’, that she needs the ‘approval’ of other women or any man, that cleaning the house or doing the washing is somehow ‘demeaning’, that she is not accountable for the things she does in her life, that she is not responsible for her own life, that she can tell other people how they should live their life, that anyone can tell her how she should live her life, that it is her Parent’s job to look after her during her life, that it is also the Goverment’s job to look after her during her life, that it is her Husband’s job to give her whatever she wants, that other people should behave ‘properly’, that she can complain about anything that she doesnt like or agree with, that she deserves to be given gifts constantly to be ‘loved’, that her husband needs to be ‘managed’ and ‘improved’, that having a beer with my mates means I dont want to be with her, that I must build up ‘credit points’ before I can do something without her, that I must be nagged to get things done around the home, that cats are trustworthy animals, that dogs are dirty and stupid, that farts are offensive and disgusting, that doing anything dangerous (driving a car bike etc) cannot be enjoyed, that she can drive a car or ride a bike as good as any man

But she is a lady and she does not think that she can be wrong, that she can be criticised, or that she can be laughed at. And once a month or so she is grumpy and moody for 2-3 days

She is a lovely feminine Thai lady and she is the best thing that has ever happened in my life – period.  And that is why I married a Thai lady when I was in my late 50s. 

PS - she may look 30+, but she is actually 50+.  Ignoring 'those' stares from fat older western women when we are walking around is just a part of the deal. 

Wow. Amazing write up. 

[American]

Any statistics, even informal, on my odds? I am in my 50's and would go to Thailand for a year to find my 2nd wife who is younger (or looks like a young woman). I wish I were attracted to American women in their forties, but I am not. Also, I may want to have kids so a younger wife would be the best way for that.
So... I am corresponding with an American who lives in Thailand. He dissuaded me from my plan by saying that  a woman will likely pretend to have sincere interest, but years later it is likely that I will see she was really financially motivated.
I was told hard to get visa to allow your Thai wife to travel to and live in the United States. I was told it's likely the woman will also expect me to help out her Thai family for a variety of expenses. My contact said he has seen and heard about many foreigner men who are in successful long-term relationships with Thai woman, but only if it's been repeated extended stays over many years as that allows them the chance to better understand the culture and take their time to find a partner with whom they can have a truly mutually beneficial relationship.  
He said success is much more likely if I can spend an extended amount of time - not just two months  because it's easy to get an incomplete picture with shorter visits.

 

Edited April 15, 2022 by American
typos

[Pinetree]

13 hours ago, American said:

Any statistics, even informal, on my odds? I am in my 50's and would go to Thailand for a year to find my 2nd wife who is younger (or looks like a young woman). I wish I were attracted to American women in their forties, but I am not. Also, I may want to have kids so a younger wife would be the best way for that.
So... I am corresponding with an American who lives in Thailand. He dissuaded me from my plan by saying that  a woman will likely pretend to have sincere interest, but years later it is likely that I will see she was really financially motivated.
I was told hard to get visa to allow your Thai wife to travel to and live in the United States. I was told it's likely the woman will also expect me to help out her Thai family for a variety of expenses. My contact said he has seen and heard about many foreigner men who are in successful long-term relationships with Thai woman, but only if it's been repeated extended stays over many years as that allows them the chance to better understand the culture and take their time to find a partner with whom they can have a truly mutually beneficial relationship.  
He said success is much more likely if I can spend an extended amount of time - not just two months  because it's easy to get an incomplete picture with shorter visits.

You really do need to wise up man, or you are going to get Royally screwed here.  As my old Professor used to say; more research required.  The only thing I would say is that, be it Western or Asian, every marriage type relationship has a financial element to it, some strong, some weak  but they all have it. 

[ExpatPattaya]

On 7/16/2021 at 7:24 PM, Objectivance said:

Oh man, I met my wife in the states when we were mid 20's and she was too small to even wear a US size 0 so she had to shop in the teens section at the mall stores.

Nothing wrong with small ladies, but some men here in Pattaya have a real obsession with them and it makes me think that they only want girls with 13 year old teen bodies, which is not normal IMO.  

I prefer so say "love of my life" , as the term "wife" just means she signed the marriage contract and you are legally bound to one another.  

[Pinetree]

4 hours ago, ExpatPattaya said:

I prefer so say "love of my life" , a

I prefer to say, one of the loves of my life. 

[Poolie]

5 minutes ago, Pinetree said:

I prefer to say, one of the loves of my life. 

I prefer one of the loves of your life too. Good choice. 

[Mazz11]

On 4/16/2022 at 6:39 PM, Poolie said:

I prefer one of the loves of your life too. Good choice. 

Not 'she who must be obeyed' or 'the leader of the opposition'

Only joking 

A good partnership in marriage is a wonderful thing, I'm happy for all the happy people out there

American - you need to be very careful to make sure that you find a good woman, there are many out there but there are also many who will take you for a very expensive ride.