Feeling down about my Thai friends

[Naima11]

I live in the uk and I visit Thailand every year. I have two friends (husband and wife), who I’ve known for 16 years. We always meet up usually once but sometimes more if it’s possible. I originally met them backpacking, stayed at their hostel. The hostel is shut now. Their English is still excellent both written and spoken. Thing is, sometimes the correspondence is a bit lacking. I sent a happy new year message, had nothing back. Recently sent a message saying I have booked a flight for September, heard nothing back. Yet I know if I just called them when I arrived, we would meet up. And when they do text, they can write really nice thoughtful things. 
 

I don’t want to stereotype Thais but is this common of Thais, is it cultural to be a bit flakey?  It’s been really getting me down since I sent those messages because I’m really looking forward to getting back and seeing them but it doesn’t feel it’s reciprocated.

what are your friendships like with Thai people? I am well aware that the fact I live overseas and merely visit every year won’t help.

 

[Thaidup]

Did you only know them via the hostel? You said it is closed now. I ask because business and personal relationships are two completely different things. You may have read more into it than was actually there.

[JustAnotherExpat]

From MY personal experience, I wouldn't call my friends flakey. Rather, they are child-like, living in the here and now. If you offered them 200 baht to work one day, or 2000 baht to work five days of the same type job, they'd take the 200 baht and be happy for it. Not real forward thinking. Great hearts, poor planners.

[Santa]

It is what it is and stop worrying. I'm sure they're not.

[Pinetree]

Maybe they don't like you? 

[HolyCowCm]

Couple scenario. Maybe it could be that you base the relationship more important as a close friend than they do. Thai can be very odd with silence, but on another hand it might just be a particular persons personality as I have USA friends who will not immediately get back or will not get back at all unless it is an emergency as they see themselves as quite busy. Some people are just busy bees trying to find anything to do to feel self worth and not idle. One of my brothers being one like that. Or it could be they see you related to the Hostel in some way or the other and that part of their life has closed. Superficial, yes, but Thai folk can be like that. I know many Thai that we were close to at factory, and now that shut down then so have the relations.

Why don't you just try calling them and  seeing if they pick up and talk. 

For me, I will pick up the phone or answer a message pretty much immediately, but I don't see everyone as a close friend or a friend and so will not go out of my way and give time out of my life to see them. Just me as I keep a very small circle but know tons of folk.

[Shark]

7 hours ago, Naima11 said:

I don’t want to stereotype Thais but is this common of Thais, is it cultural to be a bit flakey?  

There are many reasons one can think about even @Pinetree isn't wrong there. Perhaps they don't like you and they just have a 'whats in it for me, mentality' like described by @JustAnotherExpatas well.

I find the Thais I deal with truly caring but I tend to meet them not through their own business or my own business but rather somewhere in life.

Perhaps you also remind them about a part of their life they 'closed' as has been said as well by @Thaidup. 

I for sure wouldn't put more into it. If they pick up the phone when you call you know whats what. If they don't... you also know.

[TiT]

It seems Thais are more receptive if you are there 'now' as opposed to forward planning.  

It is also possible, and highly probable in my opinion, that the guesthouse and its success was tied to their relations with visitors and tourists.  When this closed, it probably dismissed many 'friendships' or acquaintances along with it, sorry to say. 

Tourism dependent businesses that operate off of friendliness, kindness, and hospitality have a stake in making you feel valued as a welcome and special guest.  It is sometimes easy to read too far into it...

[cowslip]

Sounds like they might just be embarrassed about closing the business?