Why wai?

[Santa]

I came across this post in 'Stickmans' web site. I thought it to be very good and educatative.

 

https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/readers-submissions/2002/10/why-wai/

[HolyCowCm]

It all just depends on how the Thai see you here and the situation. Your Wai is definitely judged, but Thai just do not wai everyone. Just the other day out and about, five different Thai people men and women gave me the wai and I reciprocated. But then I have been here for a long time and normally speak Thai with these people. Stickman has some definite relevant points, and when I see foreingers wai in certain situations it makes me cringe. FOB tourists for the most part no as not really as they don't know better.

[steve860]

I cringe when i see any foreigner wai.

[Marble-eye]

1 minute ago, steve860 said:

I cringe when i see any foreigner wai.

I used to laugh when I saw Jack Douglas Wai.

 

[Santa]

6 hours ago, HolyCowCm said:

Just the other day out and about, five different Thai people men and women gave me the wai and I reciprocated.

Why reciprocate? It isn't your custom? I admit that within the first week of being in Thailand I wai-ed back to a child when I shouldn't have. I was corrected by a farang. From then on, in 16 years here, I've never wai-ed a Thai back when they've wai-ed me. I just acknowledge their wai with a nod of my head or a wave of my hand. I've never wai my mil, no fil, and she accepts that and so does my wife. They accept it is not my custom.

Edited February 13, 2022 by Santa

[Santa]

3 hours ago, steve860 said:

I cringe when i see any foreigner wai.

Me too. How some Thais don't split their sides laughing at farangs I'll never know.

[Guest1]

33 minutes ago, Santa said:

Why reciprocate? It isn't your custom? I admit that within the first week of being in Thailand I wai-ed back to a child when I shouldn't have. I was corrected by a farang. From then on, in 16 years here, I've never wai-ed a Thai back when they've wai-ed me. I just acknowledge their wai with a nod of my head or a wave of my hand. I've never wai my mil, no fil, and she accepts that and so does my wife. They accept it is not my custom.

That is actually the thing! Thais don't wai kids, the "average" Thai don't wai everyone, bar girls, for example are not in line for a wai! The girls, however, because on lower (social) level, have to wai up. Which is about everyone! And as a foreigner you just don't have the idea, how high the wai has to be. Ok, for a royal highness it is the highest, but before you do it wrong, don't do it! And think about one thing: It is not the namaste / yoga palm hand greeting. And THAT is, what you can see most, from "farangs" at least!

I have learned, that I can do more wrong, then right. As long you not start to go for a handshake, you should be ok without and a smile and a sawadee krap, a kraphom. Foreigners, even with a decent repertoire of Thai words to communicate, are still outside the hierarchy. Which can easily be seen, they even wai the rudest Russian! Once, at least! It is business. Like most of the smiles. 

[HolyCowCm]

2 hours ago, Santa said:

Why reciprocate? It isn't your custom? I admit that within the first week of being in Thailand I wai-ed back to a child when I shouldn't have. I was corrected by a farang. From then on, in 16 years here, I've never wai-ed a Thai back when they've wai-ed me. I just acknowledge their wai with a nod of my head or a wave of my hand. I've never wai my mil, no fil, and she accepts that and so does my wife. They accept it is not my custom.

Different situations and people is why and it does reciprocate respect, but not every time is warranted. But up to you. So let’s take it farther, as if Thai isn’t your language so in this case I hope you don’t speak it, or I also hope you don’t take your shoes off to go into Thai folks homes or even where you live. But if you can’t do it properly then don’t do it, because you will most certainly look way far out of place. But again up to you to bob your head which can be acceptable at times. 

[samiam123]

Farangs should never wai.  No, you don't get brownie points for trying.  Most of the time they are laughing at you on the inside and probably telling each other in Thai how stupid you look. JUST DON'T DO IT!

Edited February 13, 2022 by samiam123

[Marc26]

55 minutes ago, samiam123 said:

Farangs should never wai.  No, you don't get brownie points for trying.  Most of the time they are laughing at you on the inside and probably telling each other in Thai how stupid you look. JUST DON'T DO IT!

Just another thread for people to profess to know better than anyone else

 

Or blowhards to tell you not to wai, but of course they wai, because they are so respected.......

 

No, Thais aren't laughing at a tourist trying to show respect, even if they get it wrong

 

It's busy body farang worrying about that crap, not Thais 

[steve860]

6 hours ago, Marc26 said:

Just another thread for people to profess to know better than anyone else

Or blowhards to tell you not to wai, but of course they wai, because they are so respected.......

No, Thais aren't laughing at a tourist trying to show respect, even if they get it wrong

It's busy body farang worrying about that crap, not Thais 

Exactly, a nod of the head any situation is all that's required from me, My wife (Thai) says exactly the same. Suprised someone doesn't start a topic on How to Wai correctly, there was one on another forum a few years ago, you can guess how that went.

[Marc26]

Just now, steve860 said:

Exactly, a nod of the head any situation is all that's required from me, My wife (Thai) says exactly the same. Suprised someone doesn't start a topic on How to Wai correctly, there was one on another forum a few years ago, you can guess how that went.

It's not 

[steve860]

20 minutes ago, Marc26 said:

It's not 

It is

[Marc26]

42 minutes ago, steve860 said:

It is

I hit send by accident, my bad

 

A wai is definitely not required 

I don't think anyone would think it would be

 

And there are many YouTube videos with Thais showing the 3 different ways to Wai

 

And almost all of the videos mention how pleased Thais are for foreigners to try and Wai

 

Most Thais, that aren't assholes, aren't laughing at a tourist for trying to show a bit of respect, even if they get it wrong 

[samiam123]

10 hours ago, Marc26 said:

Just another thread for people to profess to know better than anyone else

Or blowhards to tell you not to wai, but of course they wai, because they are so respected.......

No, Thais aren't laughing at a tourist trying to show respect, even if they get it wrong

It's busy body farang worrying about that crap, not Thais 

 

10 hours ago, Marc26 said:

Just another thread for people to profess to know better than anyone else

Or blowhards to tell you not to wai, but of course they wai, because they are so respected.......

No, Thais aren't laughing at a tourist trying to show respect, even if they get it wrong

It's busy body farang worrying about that crap, not Thais 

At least you are providing entertainment as you are "trying to show respect".  

Edited February 14, 2022 by samiam123

[Marc26]

22 minutes ago, samiam123 said:

At least you are providing entertainment as you are "trying to show respect".  

I don't actually Wai that much or at all

I do the nod as well

It's just not my personality 

 

 

But I will take the word of the Thais I know, who are pleased  when foreigners attempt to show respect for their culture over a bunch of blowhards on a chat forum 

[samiam123]

12 hours ago, Marc26 said:

I don't actually Wai that much or at all

I do the nod as well

It's just not my personality 

But I will take the word of the Thais I know, who are pleased  when foreigners attempt to show respect for their culture over a bunch of blowhards on a chat forum 

Nuff said. 

Edited February 14, 2022 by samiam123

[Thaidup]

The locals in my area teach their little babies to Wai to me and I Wai back to the babies with a big smile, they appreciate it.

[HolyCowCm]

6 minutes ago, Thaidup said:

The locals in my area teach their little babies to Wai to me and I Wai back to the babies with a big smile, they appreciate it.

That’s cute. 

[Santa]

Do immigration officers wai you? NO, because they already know that they are far higher in status than farangs are, and see you as inferior to them. They don't even wai farangs, as thank you, when tea money is paid or the change from 2000 baht visa payment is made. They know it's all a load of tosh. They only wai each other. Let them do their customs and farangs do theirs. That way no one looks stupid.

Edited March 13, 2022 by Santa

[Smithydog]

44 minutes ago, Santa said:

Do immigration officers wai you? NO, because they already know that they are far higher in status than farangs are, and see you as inferior to them. They don't even wai farangs, as thank you, when tea money is paid or the change from 2000 baht visa payment is made. They know it's all a load of tosh. They only wai each other. Let them do their customs and farangs do theirs. That way no one looks stupid.

I certainly have had Immigration Officers wai me both at my home and at the office. Perhaps our experiences are just different.

From my wai perspective, I wai the local monks when they pass and the village Headman when he visits or leaves. He not only returns the wai but also always offers his hand for me to shake as his own personal sign of respect for my own heritage. It is a good and respectful balance.

Being older, there aren't that many people in my village older than me except for a few of the Thai women! So a wai is frequently given by others in respect to my age. At the instruction of my  Thai wife I only respond with a smile for them and a nod of the head. I think she fears having to constantly correct me if I am doing it wrong, or at the wrong height etc!

I refrain from using the wai on other occasions unless a person has done something of a special nature for myself or my family. I am not sure if the smile I get back when doing one is of amusement or joy. But who really cares. It brought some happiness into their lives for a small moment through my respect or laughter at my attempt!

 

[Thaidup]

1 hour ago, Santa said:

Do immigration officers wai you? NO, because they already know that they are far higher in status than farangs are, and see you as inferior to them. They don't even wai farangs, as thank you, when tea money is paid or the change from 2000 baht visa payment is made. They know it's all a load of tosh. They only wai each other. Let them do their customs and farangs do theirs. That way no one looks stupid.

Your application for international dignitary is forthwith revoked

Edited March 13, 2022 by Thaidup

[Shark]

4 hours ago, Smithydog said:

I certainly have had Immigration Officers wai me both at my home and at the office. Perhaps our experiences are just different.

 

I actually made a immigration officer feel good (and she just ignored the wrong year of my tax paperwork) by doing a Wai and afterwards continuing the conversation in Thai.

I seriously don't get the fuss some people put in the 'judgement' of doing a wai or doing it wrong. People try. Even 'tourists' try to fit in as somebody living here for longer I did my fair share of Wai's and I do reply to kids still to (if they initiate first).

[Santa]

8 hours ago, Transam said:

Do you laugh if you see a Thai shaking hands....?  

Should I? Up to them how they greet each other. They can rub noses as far as I'm concerned. Why should farang be tied down to a Thai tradition that plays no part in a farang way of tradition?

Put the shoe on the other foot and would we, as per the OP, expect Thais to shake hands with their hierarchy upon meeting etc? No of course not. In Thailand it's all about show.

Edited March 13, 2022 by Santa

[Santa]

3 hours ago, Shark said:

I actually made a immigration officer feel good (and she just ignored the wrong year of my tax paperwork) by doing a Wai

Unless she told you that, you are only speculating.